" Casting Shadows " ~ A Novella by A.R. Koheen

Chapter 7

-

               Brenda’s eyelashes fluttered in her head.

            “  I beg your pardon?  “  She signed from her lap.

            Lucy Macomb put down her up and saucer and began to answer vigorously.

            “  When I read the chances you took for that Arab woman, I knew I’d misjudged the kid of person you are!  “

            “  Afghani, not Arab. “

            The Dowager waved the correction side as unimportant.

            ‘  I never thought I’d live to see the day that America was attacked on her own ground! I always thought that’s why we’re fighting Over There? But now that it has, we have to rect. The same as you do, my Dear, wanted or nor. If you show cowardice in this, it will just encourage them to bully you more! But you know Bill Westmont and Andrew Bishops are old hunting buddies from way back. My concern is that if we stop them here, they’ll come against you personally! “

            ‘  That sounds hauntingly familiar.  “

            “  Doesn’t it?  “  Lucy agreed with a sigh, to free up her hands to resume possession of her tea.  

            “  Are you expecting someone, Brenda?  “

            “  I’m just glad they knocked!  “

            As soon as she saw Tug’s dun colored uniform, her heart dropped to her knees. She’d forgotten to sign up to vote! She’d have to do that this afternoon!  She started to tell him so with a laugh when she saw the strange somberness on his face. Then a sick dread seized hold of her.

            “  What happened?  Another terrorist attack? “

            He sighed and looked down to his boot tops.

            “  Same as. Your brother got some terrible news this afternoon, and he shot himself. He isn’t expected to live, and he isn’t expected to die. He’s just in a coma, living on Life Support. The hospital said I have to come to get you Ma’am. It’s the last thing I want to do, to put you through more of that! The Cat!  “

            “  Let him go, he’ll be all right. I had a cat door put in.  “

            Tug seized her hands.

            “  I’m sorry! I don’t understand all that!  “

            She repeated the same message in words, but it had the same low drone as when she said it in her head.

            As they drove, Tug reached over her knees to dig out a small card from the glove compartment of the cruiser.

            “ I’m sorry. This came for you in the mail on Friday, but I got busy and forgot to deliver it.

            “  That’s okay.  She repeated verbally; then held it in her lap while she stared out at the speeding landscape as trees and wire fences gave way to trailer parks, then small business and curbed streets and stop signs.

            “  Brea? Can you hear me, Brea?  “

            Finally he held his hands up to her face. She focused with an effort.

            “  What happened?  “

            “  The FBI had a hard time tracking the identity of the remains. She took pains to remove the license plate, any idea, she even pried lose the vend number on the engine. “

            “  She had a fear of the….authorities… the Antichrist will use to identify Christians. She felt the traffic cameras were for when Christians would be the criminals…she killed them didn’t she?  “

            “  And herself.  “  Seth agreed unhappily, watching the older woman behind her pale alarmingly. “ She… “

            “  Stop! Don’t tell me!  They’re dead. RJ’s wife and kids are dead. Maybe God

is punishing us?  “

            “  They did it in the name of Allah.  “

            Brea felt the card’s edges against her hand, as if she was reminding herself that not everyone of a different faith than hers was a terrorist, but when she passed by a lined trash liner, she dropped it in, unopened. It represented life, and at the moment, she had none!

            Except for the sound of the machines, the room was silent. His eyes were shut and his mouth was taped over to keep the ventilator in place, keeping blood and oxygen to vital organs that would give a second chance in life to others when the full realization that he was gone had sunk in. She knew there were miracles, when people came back to life, but miracles were Heaven’s department, and she honestly didn’t expect any of them to be forthcoming!

            It was dark when her mother-in-law woke her.

            “  I have to go. I’ll be back in a few days. I only meant to stay the afternoon.  “  She signed.

            Brenda nodded; her hands were numb from sleeping on them as she sat at her brother’s beside.

            Lucy paused in the doorway.

            “  Why does everybody call you Brea? My Aunt’s name was Brenda and no one ever called her anything but that, to her face.  “  She added, with a slight grimace, that had been intended as a smile.

            “  In grade school I got labeled “Breezy Brenda” by the tough girls. Dad said I should make it stuck, but as a positive and by High School everyone just called me Brea, even my teachers. “

            “  I’ll be back.  “

            “  Arnold Swartzenagger said it first. “

            “  Yes, but I’ll park the car outside the building! “  Lucy promised as she blew a sad, little air kiss to the somber woman beside the still bed.

-

            “  I’m won’t be coming to your church on Sunday, Frank.  “  She warned, as the slow opening and shutting of the door produced the bent old man rather than the professionally disinterested nurse she was expecting.

            “  That’s okay, I’m not going to be there either.  I’m going fishing. There’s a little stream my grand pappy used to take me too, right by the bow of the river where a deep pool was scoured out eons and I personally know of an old trout that hides there when it gets hot like this.  “

            “  It’s raining.  “

            “  I didn’t think you’d noticed. But by Sunday, it’ll just add some fresh air to the water and wash down so many new nutrients that I figure if I don’t go by then, I’ll miss my last best chance to catch the old bugger. Have to let him of course, got to respect age, but the thing about fishing isn’t catching fish, no sir, that’s for amateurs and people with more money than time. No sir, my grand pappy used to say it’s the only way a man can be idle without being scolded by people. Tie a string on the end of a long willow branch, dangle it in the water so no one can see it ain’t got no hook, and you got a free pass to lay there in God’s first and best Church, let the sky and earth do the sermon, and the song birds be the choir, and a man…or a woman…can learn a lot about themselves, he used to say me when I was no higher than his hip pocket in his bib overalls! Yes sir.  “

            Brenda nodded, but her head was too heavy to keep upright, she laid it back on her arms in slow motion.

            “  It isn’t what happens to us, it’s what we do with it.  “

            “  He probably figured that out between pulling the trigger and hearing the explosion, but it was too late. He’d already shot himself. “

            “  Your alone enough now, Brea; you don’t got to shut me and GOD out too!  “

            “  If you say so. “

            “   That reminds me of a poem I read as a little boy. I never did know who wrote it, always saw it listed as anonymous. I guess sometimes getting a thing said is more important to some people, than getting praise for having written it. It’s a poem.  “

            ‘  You said that.  “  She challenged dispiritedly, but she turned her head to where her chin rested on her fingers and she was at least looking in his direction, after a fashion

            “ ‘He drew a circle to shut me out. Heretic. Rebel. A thing to flout. /But love and I had wit to win…  “

She raised up slowly, wrenching lose tears.

 “  We drew a circle that brought him in.  “.

            “ Something like that, yeah. I can never remember the punch line on jokes either.

I’ll drive you home, Brea. Ain’t nothing more we can do here, and some folks might die just in the time to takes it get them the organ. What say you, Child?  “

            “  I want to go to my house!  “

            “  We’ll go to your house.  “  He promised.

            He had to help her stand up.

            “  I met a little girl in the corridor as I came in, they’d told her they were waiting to see if they could get permission to give her a new kidney? She asked me to give you this. Before you decide, maybe you should open it? Sometimes the messages that come directly from Heaven are done in crayon.  “

            “  You open it.  “

            “  I already did. “

            She hated him, hated the prospect of having to obey him, but as she sighed, she broke apart in three pieces on the inside and her nose began to run. It was imprinted on a Hallmark Card, just a piece of construction paper folded inside a dark red sheet of pressed paper.

            “  If I get to Heaven first I’ll tell your brother how much you love him. But I think he already knows, Mrs. Macomb. Your friend, Angie. P.S. Jenny is my cousin, she told me about Sargie. Please give him an extra hug for me when you get home.  “

            “  Oh-my-gawd! What time is it?  “

            “  It’s only four thirty, why?  “

            “  I dropped something very valuable! I have to get to the Nurse’s Station, before the Custodian empties the wastebaskets, and then I’ve got to get to city hall to register to vote in next week’s special election!  “

            Frank’s frown of doubt eased into a broad, old grin as he pulled the Hallmark envelope from his jacket pocket.

            “  Too many years as a janitor, I suppose. “            He said apolitically as she snatched the card from his hands and pressed it against her heart with a quick prayer of thanks and apology.

            She slipped her hand through the crook of his arm.

            “  Tsk, tsk, tsk. Your kids are always stuffing your pockets with keepsakes and then forgetting to ask for them back!  “

            “  That is the heaven blessed truth, Child!  “  He said affectionately. “ But don’t be thinking you can make a habit of it!  “

            “  No, Grandpas. “  She agreed meekly. “  You know the strangest thing happened when I first came in. The doctor started to sign to me, and I though it was because he thought I was deaf. Then it turned out when I tried to talk back, he couldn’t understand me when I was so upset?  It turns out he’s deaf!  “

            “  Say it isn’t so!  “   Frank demanded happily, and she lost herself in the comfort of being near a person who cared for her, the way Shawn had. One didn’t have to be perfect to get love… or give it!

            “  Imagine what he’s willing to go through every day, in a world of hearing people, just so he can help someone else?  “

            Their voices trailed away as they walked further and further from the room, now buzzing with activity because of the natural deadline imposed on them by life and death.

-

            “ Mrs. Macomb?  “

            Brenda had to squint her eyes to see through the pelting raindrops.

            “   Kathy? Is that you?  “

            “  Yes, Ma’am.  “  The young woman agreed, shivering in alternating layers as she tried to hold down her too short skirt in one hand and angle the run over from the soggy newspaper on her head so it wouldn’t run down the side of her arm and get her stained with ink and pulp.

            “  Come in! Come in, please! Diane? This is Kathy Jacob, one of Shawn’s most capable personal assistants!  How are you?  “

            “  Okay, I guess. Dr. Leister got me fired; then he blacklisted me by telling lies!

When Mrs. M called and said you’d requested me, I wanted to break down and cry! Thank you for such for trusting me!  “

            “  Carl Leister?  “  The buxom realtor demanded with sharp scorn.

            “  You know him?  “  They said in one voice.

            “  Almost married the bum, or thought I was going to get too when we graduated. He copied all my book reports and my term paper turned them in under his own name! I guess some people just get better at getting bad as they get old, instead of getting better!  “  She replied in undisguised disgust.

            “  Not this time! “  The trembling woman demanded, as Brenda pulled her nearer to the electric heater Diane had plugged in due to the unseasonable storm front. “ I took all the notes in shorthand, but I used my own shortcuts. When I wouldn’t help him, he said I made ‘improper sexual advances’ toward him and got me fired!  “

            “  I doubt anyone would believe that, Honey!  “

            “  He went to plastic surgery and had most of the fat liposuctioned off. “

            “  If only they’d let me do a craniotomy on him? I’d even agreed to wash my hands first, I just wouldn’t tell them with what! You’d better step into my clothes closet and change clothes. Those are dripping wet. They may be big, but they’re dry! Did she say anything to you about sending this girl?  “

            “  No, and don’t you either!  “

            “  I won’t, but maybe she’s a spy?  “

            “  She was in love with my husband… “

            “ So what, so was I!  “

            “  But she told me so, to my face. And she said she knew it was wrong and that if she couldn’t control it, she’d quit, I wouldn’t have to fire her and I wouldn’t have to ever worry she was going to break me and Shawn up!  “

            “  In this day and age?  If you don’t want her Honey, I do! I’ve got a back log of….I’ve got a back log of paperwork that can wait until tomorrow. Let’s go get a bite to eat. My treat.  “

            “  I’m not hungry.  “

            Diane gave her a small but painful pinch at the look of disappointed on the thin girl’s face.

            “  Let’s go hit the All You Can Eat Buffet. “  She repeated sternly.

            “  Oh yeah, of course!  “  Brenda agreed, like she’d just remembered how hungry she was.

            “  How’d you get here?  “ 

            “ Mrs. M gave me a loan on my pay check. She said I can pay her back in monthly installments, but when I said I needed the car to get our to your place, Brea? All of a sudden they tore up the paperwork and said I had an out-of-state license so I couldn’t have the car. What did you do to these guys? Fill their shorts with charcoal and threaten to light it?  “

            “  Now there’s a winning idea. Why didn’t I think of that?  “

            “  I’m not really sure, Kath…  “

            “  Kath? It’s just two syllables! Say “Kath-ie”. See how easy that is?  It rolls right off the tongue!  “

            The two women shared a smile at her expense, which she graciously ignored. 

            “  In New York, everything is one syllable. Even Cohen is “corn”  “

            “  Are you Jewish?  “

            “  Only partly. From here up, I’m Jewish, from here down I’m Catholic. That’s the part that had to kneel at Mass every morning at five o’clock before we got marched in the cold to go eat. They said what didn’t kill us would make us strong, but sometimes the rain would slant? The best part is they and these long, long dresses in black? And the hems stayed wet. It was the only revenge I was ever allowed because I feared GOD would get made at me otherwise. Are you okay, Brea?  “

            “  The baby.  “  She fibbed.

            “  Oh, the Baby! I forgot. Do you want a boy or a girl?  “

            The conversation slipped into a less painful vein. It was clear the young Midwesterner knew nothing about Jeff’s suicide that morning, and when Brenda didn’t bring it up, she saw no reason to spoil the first happy conversation she’d see the woman indulge in for the last nine weeks!  She didn’t know any of the people they gossiped about back and forth, but when they looked at her she smiled and sat back to where th4e table didn’t press into her tummy so badly. The younger woman kept eating, but she wasn’t in any hurry. It was still raining when she gave them a ride back to the hospital parking lot to pick up Brenda’s car. All four tires had been slashed, clearly by a large diameter hunting knife!

            “  We’ll stop by my sons and have him tow the car on that new machine of his he’s so excited about and have him change out the tires. I was going to stop by your house tomorrow anyhow, he can follow me. We got to talking and I forgot to tell you, I got a buyer for the house! You haven’t changed your mind, have you?  “  She asked, at Brenda’s stricken look.

            “  No! I do want to sell. I just didn’t think it would be this quick. Do you know who it is?  “

            “  Yeah!  “  The heavyset woman said with a broad smile as she looked across the bench seat of the car while she was backing up, “ Me! “

-

            At the sound of three car doors slamming outside her front door suddenly made the isolation of the lake front house an ominous threat. If she was found floating face up in the lake it would be assumed she’d simply given up hope at so many deaths in her life! But when she snuck to the window to lock it, hoping their need to shatter the glass to get in would give her a few extra minutes to get away, she was relieved to see the headlights of a tow truck. Diane’s oldest boy stood beside the back of the truck while a nondescript youth in overalls stained with axel grease was helping him work the levers so the flatbed could raise on end, allowing her car to be winched safety to the ground on new tires. A slow moving dark figure shuffled toward the porch attempting to carry a cardboard box two sizes too big for him to handle, but the young boy was so enthralled by the sound of the motors, he never even offered to help Frank! The fear drained away whatever hidden reserves of strength she could hope to call on!

            “  It always warms up before it storms. “  He said casually, as if his showing up at her house in the middle of nowhere was an every day occurrence. His eyes took in the other occupant in the room, the folding table filled with computers and plain white boxes of stationary paper so she didn’t feel the need to make any awkward explanations that required time on her feet, or breath.

            After a satisfying dinner on the paper plates the Sisterhood included with Frank’s meals, Brenda curled up in the chair with the old fashion crocheted blanket pulled up around her sears while Kathy Jacob dozed, with her knees drawn up, her slender hand still clutching her ankle, even as she slept.

            “  That must be a good book?  “  Frank said in a quiet tone, meant to keep from disturbing the sleep girl and cat. 

            Brenda tied to look up, but the size of her stomach, replete with the home made fried chicken and potato salad resting on the baby bump, she was wedged into the familiar sag of couch as surely as if she’d been chained in one place.

            “  I guess. I can’t seem to keep my mind on the words long enough to read it. “

            The old man sat down with a groan then put his stocking feet nearer to the fire. The socks were those thick gray kind with the white toes so favored for making sock money’s. They’d been patched and repatched with so many shades of gray darning thread it was difficult to see any spot that hadn’t been patiently restitched.

            “  It isn’t like I said anything important, Child. Why don’t you give up and just go upstairs and lay down where you’ll both be more comfortable? “

            Brenda nodded in agreement, surprised at the strength he had that she lacked as the kindly, old man helped her to her feet and held her while the blood rushed back in. Her legs had gone to sleep she’d sat so long in one position!

            “  What were you trying to tell me?  “  She questioned, fighting through a yawn, but he just smiled and shook his head.

            “  My kids taught me that trick a long time ago! Get me to talking and they don’t have to go to bed! “  He chuckled. But as she leaned on his arm in the slow process of reaching the hall and the carpeted staircase, he relented. Head bowed near to hers, evening the difference in their height slightly, he said softly. “ It’s snowing! Looks like that ole trout got his way after all. He’ll get to fin around down there in the dark and mud till spring. He got a ‘Get of our Jail free’ card just like in the children’s Monopoly Game, sure enough.

            The reference to the dark and mud disturbed her, and he must have felt her tense up because he lingered at the bottom post as she forced herself to take the first three stairs, one at a time.

            “  I’ll be right here as long as you need me, Baby. You get a good night’s sleep. “

            Her foot paused between stairs and she turned around slowly, her face lined with fear and grief.

            “  Can’t I just sleep downstairs with you and Julie, Uncle Frank? I don’t want to be alone!  “

            “  You are alone, Honey.  “  He said resolutely. You got God, and me, and this lovely young girl, and you RJ and Sargie, but you are alone, Baby. And the only way you can keep it from destroying you is to face it. Go into the darkness, go into the solitude and find a strength there so it can’t never hurt you again. You’re the only one inside you, Baby. You got to do it. “

            She nodded, feeling his quiet words strengthen her resolve.

            “  Not quite.  “  She said with a wan smile, massaging the baby asleep in her womb.  “

            “  I knew you’d figure that out for yourself, if we just gave you the time.  “  He said, as a slow smile softened the strain on his face. “  That baby’s timing is GOD’S proof He’s still with you. You still don’t think that God killed him, do you, Baby?  “

            She heard the worry and concern in his voice but she concentrated on getting to the top of the stairs, meaning to turn around and say she didn’t know how she felt. She feared to ‘feel’ anything, but by the time she could pull herself to the carpeted summit a different set of tears was streaming down her cheeks.

            “  No sir. I think Jesus’ holding Jeff’y in His arms, talking to him with comfort and strength, just like you are me, Uncle Frank. “

            “  That’s a good thing to know, for both of us. Goodnight, Brea. “

            “  Goodnight, Daddy.  “  She agreed with a yawn and then she was gone, like a wisp of smoke and the old man l4eaned on the staircase in deep prayer, as if his own life depended on it.

            Shaking the slender blonde awake, he motioned her to the couch then covered her with the boy warmed crochet blanket, picking up the sleeping orange kitten and nesting it in her arms. The cat startled awake, but licking at its shaved paw and the raised mound left behind by the surgery to save it, Sargie yawned, showing slightly yellowed teeth, then he raised himself, stretched and turned around three times, like a dog, and laid right back down to sleep. Frank Carter put two small logs on the fire, set the iron screen and sat down in the still warmed place in the chair without any strength to his legs. His chest ached and his mind was blurred with the hum of low blood sugar. Popping the small sugared drop between his teeth and his gums, he reached for the blanket on the side of the chair but he was already asleep, while the angels watched.

-

            The urge to get up was profound, no matter how hard she attempted to fight it. Finally Brenda gave up and forced herself upright, almost emptying her bladder with the new pressure. By the time she dried her hands and turned off the lights she was too awake and thirsty to lie right back down. Putting on her terrycloth robe and slippers against the cold that seeped in behind the snow. Padding down the stairs to leave intervals between the creaks, she glanced at both forms in the front room. The logs had burned down to gray ash and the room was cold. It took some rummaging in the closet hall to find the heated oil space heater, but she found it and plugged it in, then thought to unplug the computer until morning, knowing that appliances still draw thirty percent of their working use electricity even while they were turned off. As she straightened she caught sight of a flashlight just outside the window! Lilac Murdock and her family had already closed up their house, so there wasn’t any legitimate reason for someone to be creepy crawling between the two houses in a fresh layer of snow!

            Her heat began to thumb so loudly she feared it would wake Frank or Julie! When someone slashes all four tires on a car it’s more than pique! Walking as softly as she could, even knowing that the house was too well insulated for someone on the outside to hear her. She took down the Winchester 30-30 from its place of honor over the fireplace and had to rummage through three of the four drawers in the kitchen, in the dark, before she found the familiar box of ammo, reminding herself she had to lock them on a top shelf in the closet with the baby on the way! Then she loaded two of them into the gun. The sharp point went in first; she knew that from the movies. But dropping a third shell because her fingers were shaking so badly! To her utter and intense relief it didn’t go off like she thought it would!

            Closing the outside pantry door behind her, she wavered on whether or not to lock it, to keep the prowler away from the other people in the house, then instantly vetoed the idea, in case she had to run back here and get in quickly! Moving past the opened yard door she waited until she had the house at her back before she spoke to the hunched figure moving so much slower than she thought possible for a human. He looked like the comic figure of a burgler but there was nothing funny about the hunting knife he held in his hand like he was probing the darkness with it. No doubt to slit the screen and see if he could wiggle lose the patio doors, thinking she would be home alone.

            “  You lose something Drew?  “

            He straightened and screamed so loud a coyote answered from the distance and lights popped on around the lakefront.  There was a noise in the house and the man, dressed in camouflage clothing with his face blackened by burnt cork, leaped straight up in the air, knocking his head against the brass wind chimes and the support beam holding them, then almost ran over her in his haste to flee from the occupant INSIDE the house.

She could smell the stench of his fear, and the strong odors of stale alcohol and fresh urine. She wanted to laugh. She wanted to deny the reality of what she was looking at, but all she could do was sob and cry as he fled past her, his gaze glued on the oversized rifle clinched in her hand.

             Something hit the glass patio door as the lights came on, and then were abruptly switched back off. It didn’t sound like anything broke, but it startled her so badly she almost pulled the trigger! Since she didn’t know if a gun this size had a safety or not, she wedged it against the wall, behind the chase lounge and ran around in the footprints left in the drifts against the side of the house.

This story is fictional. Any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental.

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