“  Do I love you?  “  He echoed in shock. His eyes blinked rapidly several times as his lips mouthed the question as he asked it a second time internally.

            “  It’s a simple question, Uncle Paul.  “  She insisted innocently.

            “  Hardly. But yes, I do.  “

            “  Then God loves you?  “

            His smile deepened and he glanced skyward. She wished for that moment that she was already grown up and an old woman so she’d know what it was she was seeing there.

            “  I just want you in Heaven with me and Pa and my Ma, Uncle Paul. “

            “  That means more than I have words to say, Childe. “  He answered her tenderly, making her realize how she’d come to expect long silences from him, the way she expected motions and nods from Manolito and shy courtesy from Luke Cole, though he’d never meet her gaze head-on. It shocked her not to be able to remember how her father looked at her, all she remembered was the ever present surety of his love and protection even when her back was turned to him. ‘But she’d been a child, and a child takes such things for granted, didn’t they? What if she was wrong?’

            “  The Almighty and me have an understanding. We’re on speaking terms and I mean him no disrespect, but I think I’d be a whole lot more comfortable sharing the night camps with my friends out of doors than sitting on any cloud playing a harp!  “

            Becka laughed, though it sounded a little nervous to he ears, imaging the giant man she loved in her father’s place trying to sit on a cloud large enough to bear his weight. Then a distant yip trapped her in a sudden paradox of fear in the midst of such safety. Was that real or Indians, signaling to one another they were in place for the attack? What if those wicked men followed them here? Captain Ahab seemed a fiercesome man, unlikely to forgive any insult to his pride so great. Her breath came in quick sobs until his arm pulled her nearer to him, reestablishing the sphere of invulnerability. After a few moments of intense listening she was able to sort through the night sounds and begin to put them in their place in the natural order of things until the fullness of the moon prevented any predator from sneaking up on its pray and she dozed with her chin against his rib cage until it was time for him to leave the burning embers to take his turn at keeping watch. She woke in the morning to find herself dressed, inside the enviable warmth of her sleeping bag not remembering how she got there.

            Sapphire laid the back of her hand against the girl’s forehead and clucked sadly.

            “  You got a fever girl!  “

            “  We’ll be in town before noon. I can see a doctor there. “

            “  If they even have one. “  Sapphire warned grimly, but by the time they cleared their camp and mounted their horses that were eager to move now that they smelled civilization and straw beds, she felt so much better she put the last traces of fear out of her mind.

                Manolito rode out to meet them while they were still a great distance from the town. Paul had to ‘see-saw’ the bit in the horse’s mouth to keep the surly gray from clamping the metal between her teeth and racing forward headlong. If it weren’t for the Spanish style clothing he was wearing none of them would have recognized him for his half of his face was purpled and one eyes was blood red and puffy.

            “  Where’s Toby? Where’s my money?  “

            “  In the sporting house. What’s left of either of them! Jeffe ..I… “

            Sapphire thrust the sleeping toddler into Paul’s arms and began to dig her heels into her gelding’s sides, lashing his withers and neck with the ends of the reins. He picked up his feet and began to run to fear.

            It turned out to be the least of their difficulties in leaving town as Paul McWhorter’s fame as a lawman and gun fighter increased with the stories told around town as he remained just long enough to have the bodies of the now ‘notorious’ Austin Brothers collected and buried on Boot Hill and the mule and wagons returned to their rightful owner. A traveling photographer paid for their pine coffins so he could set them up for a display for ‘history’, while the Mayor took his place beside Paul, grinning like the proverbial cat who just swallowed the canary before the lids were nailed shut and the heavy weights conscripted to the ground from which they were formed. Sapphire was of a mind to make Toby walk back to Carson City but even she yielded to the sense of haste when a third raw youth, wanting to make a name for himself by killing a well-known but aging gun hawk came to town to challenge the stooped, white haired giant. 

            “  Some men got a taste for killing in the war. “  Luke Cole said as he saddled to leave them the next morning.

            Paul found it almost impossible to talk over the lump in his throat at the grim look of determination on the younger man’s face so he had to concentrate on keeping the tears at bay; he feared he couldn’t do both.

            “  Stay well. “

            “  I will.  “  Luke promised, then without shaking hands or even looking at his aged mentor, he gripped the saddle horn, gave a small leap and thrust his toe into the heavy wooden black containing the stirrup leather and he mounted, keeping his gaze over their heads. He’d kneed his gelding into reluctant movement when the horse’s mouth fell open and he bucked slightly in resentment at the mixed messages, forcing the onlookers to take a step back. Once he had his mount under control, the slender man attempted to corral and control his emotions, but they were more difficult.

            “  Thanks Major, for everything!  “

            Paul nodded and touched the brim of his Stetson as though he were addressing a stranger and not someone who’d shared the last twelve years of his life as comrade-in-arms and a bother.

            “  Make him stop, Jeffe!  “   Being twelve, Manolito didn’t have to hide his tears.

            Being thirteen, Becka couldn’t. “  Tell him to stay, Pa! Please! Before its too late He’ll stay if you ask him! “

            “  Not while I’m breathing. A man can’t tell another man what to do. “  His words were harsh and misshapen as they struggled past the constriction of his throat and he turned away from him, striding moodily toward the fall of wilderness and tumbleweed at the end of the lane.

            “  Let him be, Childe. “  Sapphire coaxed as the girl turned to her and buried her face on her shoulder, dampening the cloth with her tears. “  I don’t know what they said but maybe its for the best. Seed’s got to fall away from the tree to sprout and mature. “

            Becka pushed herself free with difficulty.

            “  Oh what do you know?  “  She challenged in pain, and lifting her skirts to a shocking height she ran toward the barn while Sapphire stood in one place, trembling violently as a warm west wind dried and chilled the wet cloth. 

            “  Storm’s coming, Miss Gem. “  Toby asked.

            “  We’re going to stay right here no matter how the white folks fracture away.  “ She answered in a low, weary voice and he nodded in relief that she’d understood, no matter what words he used for the master’s to overhear.  “  Start the ovens. I got baking to do.  “

            He began to slump and complain about the pain growing in his back but her look at him was so harsh he decided to do it anyway for fear she’d bundle his shirts and socks and tell him to make his way alone in that cold cruel world! He’d heard the stories of what they would do if they were free one day, the whispers of glory while the world and their white masters slept, but he’d never been bold and he cringed at the thought of standing toe to toe with an angry white man. Part of him said he should go to the sea, go to the city where sin and work were easy to find and no one slept, that she was too strong willed not to push their former masters too far, bringing down their wrath on her and everyone around her, but someone he remained, watching, wondering, hoping against hope that what had been begun before the President’s assassination could be continued with the same strength it was forcing growth now. Just as long as he didn’t have to stand out from the crowd when the tide turned!

            “  Storm’s coming, Miss Gem.  “  He repeated, an octave higher.

            “  I’m baking bread, not washing clothes. Cut the wood!  “  She said sternly.

            “  Yes’m. “  He agreed humbly but he paused to peek over the untrimmed hedge to see where the stooped giant was going. “ I wished I understood. “  He sighed, vaguely aiming the comment in the direction of Heaven.

-

            “  I’m trying to understand!  “  Willard snorted, keeping his back to the wall as the giant paced in front of his desk. “  The whole point of having the Law is to prevent vigilante ‘justice’ dang blame it, Paul.  “

            “  They was hung while they had the drop on me. “

            “  Then bring the man to justice who did it. “

            “  He had his rights. He’s also joined up with a group of sidewinders who aren’t going to allow me to just walk in there take him to hang for killing them men who killed his pa in front of him. “

            “  Maybe you should just get out, Paul. Let the young men take over. You’ve pulled your weight and more. “

            “  That’s what Luke Cole said before he rode out. “

            “  I know. He talked to me before he caught the train. Sold me his horse. Got a good deal on it. You know Paul that reminds me… “

            “  Let me remind you why I’m here, Judge. Then let me go before I say or do something we’ll both regret. “

            “  Are you threatening me, Paul Lee?  “

            “  Consider that I’m warning you! “  The white haired man snapped, striding past the heavy mahogany desk toward the door.

            “  I didn’t dismiss you!  “

            “  Consider me dismissed. And disgusted! You reek, Judge!  “

            Willard Orrville’s hand was on the heavy decanter to throw it when the door slammed. He stood rooted to the spot, weeping violently, mindlessly, sobbing his dead wife’s name. The outer door slammed shut, warning him he had to try and pull himself together. His secretary would walk in at any moment, an overly solicitous little dung beetle who would be only too happy to keep the rest of the City Hall staff regaled with ‘true’ stories of his continued slide. At last, he could stand it no longer. Washing his face from the pitcher of water hidden inside the framed wood commode he walked to the door and opened it precisely, forcing his face into a mask of disinterest and contempt but the smaller room was empty! He tried to hide his shock and weighed the chances of going through the ubiquitous man’s desk in his absence then decided against it. His time would be better spent filling the emptiness of his gut with the welcoming burn and languor of good Kentuck liquor, at least until it was time to go home and pretend the noises his housekeeper made were those of a woman truly in the house. 

            “  I understand you are the owner of this establishment?  “  A bearded man in drab clothing asked as Paul walked up. 

            “  I am, sir. “ 

            “  I wish to retrieve my son’s wagon and goods!  “

            “  That won’t be possible. “

            The wizened man leaned heavily on his ornate cane.

            “  I was told you represented the law?  “

            “  I did. I can’t give you what isn’t here. If you can wait four days, it will be returned here and any missing goods paid for. You must be Jake’s pappy?  “

            “  I understand that you are a fair man?  “

            “  I try to be.  “

            “  I’ll return in four days. Spade?  The brindle hound?  “

            “  Joined his master in death. I guess dogs are allowed in heaven. They’re truer and more loyal than most people.  “

            The old man looked as though he’d been struck in the gut but he clinched his lips

And simply nodded, gingerly stepping down the three steps to the burning clay of the hard packed ground. “  I will return in four days, Marshall. “

            “  I understand. “  Paul replied, politely touching the brim of his hat.

            “  I wonder. “  Hezekiah Morgan answered as he began a slow limping walk that added weight to the standing giants heart as he watched the old man limp out of sight.

            Despite the heat, the white haired man boiled up some lay water, selecting the most worn scrub brush from the wood and stiff bristled set airing on the back porch.

            “  What you doing to me wagon?  “  Toby stammered, trying to pick off the hay stems that clung to his clothes from his hiding place.

            “  This ain’t yours, not the things in it. It belongs to the man’s family. His younger brother. “  Paul added slowly, remembering the emotions shared without words when the old man thought he would be unable to reclaim his dead son’s possessions.

            “  Is too mine, finder’s keepers!  “

            “  Maybe you should go home, Toby. “  He said quietly, but great emphasis. The rail thin man began to shuffle nervously, thrusting his hands in his pockets and back out again.

            “  Miss Sapphire needs a man around to raise that there boy of hers!  “

            “  Well, if he shows up, kicking out your worthless hide would be the first things he’d do. How much of her money is left?  “

            The lower lip jutted out and his hands pulled out of his overalls, balled tightly into a fist. “

            “  That’s none of your business! I ain’t your slave boy no more!  “

            “  You never were. And you never stopped being, Toby.  “

            “  There’s more where that came from!  “  He said fiercely, taking a threatening step toward the bent old man as he stooped to begin scrubbing the mud from the caked on rear spokes.

            “  It’ll still be hers, rightly earned. If you’d used it to help her grow, I wouldn’t say anything. But this is still my house and my land, and I want you off it!  “

            “  I ain’t go place to go, Massa Paul!  “  He began to wheedle, dropping his posture into that of supplication.

            He gave a small cry of fear as the tip of a lengthy shadow struck between his feet like a lance thrown from behind and he whirled to stare at the solitary figure standing in the sunlit doorway of the barn, a wash basket pressed against her hip.

            “  Better do as the man says.  “ 

            “  Sapphire! Honey bee! You got no call to talk to your man like that!  “

            “  I got no man to talk too like that. “  She answered stubbornly, her jaw clenching and unclenching.

            “  You didn’t talk to me like that when we was alone!  “

            She gasped in shock and humiliation.

            The slight man didn’t know what happened to him until he found a firm hand on his collar and attached to the seat of his pants, his legs running even though the ground was far below his shoes. The air rushed up toward them, and then the ground, bruising him so badly it was painful to stay in one place but it hurt too much to try and get up.

            Paul McWhorter was leaning against the opened barn door, gasping for air and clutching at the pain in his chest. The dirty clothes spilled out under the overturned wicker basket and the dark skinned matron was holding onto the old man’s elbow demanding he breath!

            She turned on him with such rage that Toby scrambled to his feet in profound fear for his life.

            “  Don’t you hurt me woman! My things! My things!  “

            “  I’ll have them sent to your master’s house! Now get before I forget myself and do something with that pitchfork there that we’ll both regret later! “

            Crying inconsolably with pain, Toby limped away as quickly as he could make his injured muscles obey.

            “  I’m fine, leave me be, Woman!  “  Paul gasped, trying to will the pain to a manageable level.

            “  No, you ain’t! So shut up! Manny! Go fetch the doc!  “

            “  Is he dying, Miss Gem?  “

            “  Maybe, maybe not. Now get!  “

            Paul passed out as the sun darkened and blurred against the small bent figure of a running youth, his narrow-brimmed black sombrero catching the wind and flapping behind him like an earth bound kite.

-

            “  I don’t understand. “  Becka protested in a low voice, kneeling beside the white haired lawman as Paul sat with a book on his lap, pretending to read. He hadn’t moved since he defied the doctor’s orders and simply moved from his bedroom to this chair, exhausted and in pain with the effort. Sapphire and Hinny were in the house out back, Seth was working for the Judge for a few days, and Manolito had already said goodnight and retreated to his hammock in the barn for the night. It was one of the few times she had Paul McWhorter to herself since he returned.

            “ How can I explain to you when I’m not sure myself, Honeychilde? Get off the drafty floor. “

            “  You used to not mind.  “

            “  You used to be a little girl. Maybe I’m wrong in allowing you to trust so easily. The world I knew is gone. “  He buried his face in his hands, ashamed that he might cry, but nothing emerged but the weariness of intensified physical pain and the pain of internal struggle.

            “  I don’t understand, Uncle Paul. “

            He tore his hands away from his face with such violence that she pulled back, frightened, but his hands seized her shoulders and gently pulled her toward him, to sit in his lap and lean her head against the top of his shoulder as her father had done when the top of her head was lower than his starched collar.

            “  I think maybe, since you’re becoming a lady, you should go home to your father’s house year. I can wire your Aunt Louise to expect you and… “

            She straightened with an effort and rose from the bony profusions of his kneecaps, leaving her hands in his and looking down at him tenderly. He had all of her love for her late father and a large portion of gratitude and trust in the way in which he’d kept her so well and alive in the last two and a half years since his murder.

            “  I’m the lady of this house. If you want me to stay here while you go out with Manolito and Luke Cole, I’ll understand. But I heard you and Papa talk, and I’m quite sure that lonely house with a soured widow lady would choke the very life from lungs and suck the morrow from my bones. I’ll become just like her, prim, good, a lady, and dead inside.  “

            “  You got no call to talk that way, Becka? See, you just prove my point!  “

            “  And you’re ignoring my point, Uncle Paul. I’m not a little girl any more. At Miss Sharon’s ranch I cooked, cleaned, then I went out and herded the wild steers, branded calves and helped to look after the sick ones. Me, on my own. I did it because it was what I had to do and we all had to pitch in to make the ranch function. It’s the same here! “

            “  You weren’t suppose to do all that!  “

            “  Tea parties and lawn bowling are for the genteel, the upper class white folks who lived before the War. That life is gone, Uncle Paul. Like it or not, it’s had its day and we’re truly a land of democracy now. “

            “  Whose been talking to you? Sapphire?  “

            “  Sapphire, Toby, Jake the Peddler, the Judge, the people around me. I got I don’t I, Pa?  “

            “  I have eyes.  “ He corrected sadly, about to loose her fingers when they tightened of their own accord around his, loaning him fresh strength.

            “  So do I. I’ll honor my dead pa’s wishes and go South when I turn eighteen in another six years, by then, life will have settled down and the war forgotten. But not now, please, Pa! I already lost one daddy and I don’t want to be that alone again! “

            He tore his hands free to use them to lever himself into a standing position by the arms of the deep-set chair. She took a single step back, silent tears cascading down her cheeks as she stood toe-to-toe with him. Finally he had to rest his hands on her shoulders to keep himself erect while the room spun alarmingly.

            “  Heaven save us from the power of the weaker sex.  “    His mouth was dry and he made no attempt to argue with her as her arm slipped around his.

            “  Lean on me, Pa. I’m strong! I’m not going anywhere.  “

            “  You make me believe in angels, Child. Though I’ve done nothing to deserve one!  “

            “  Just put one foot in front of the other, Paul Lee. Save your breath.  “

            Paul nodded, filled with an odd sense of contentment despite the fragility of his over-used body.

            “  He’s alright?  “   Sapphire asked in a low, worried tone. Her four-year-old son was asleep on a blanket in front of the cast iron stove.

            She nodded, too exhausted for words. She’d been worried to see the light of a lantern in the unoccupied room and was grateful to see that the older woman had simply returned to the main house for the night.  Accepting the company’s best china cup from the woman’s amble hand, she and Sapphire stepped outside and sat shoulder to shoulder on the worn boards of the porch.

            “  Luke Cole sent a telegram. He’s coming back.  “

            “  I knew he would. “  She agreed.

            The last of the evening’s insets flew around their head like black specks then disappeared into the cooling breeze coming off the desert.

            “  Jake’s family said they’d be my partner if I use my wagons and mules to keep up the mining contract… “  She sounded uncertain.

            The thirteen-year-old nodded, lifting the delicate bone china cup to her lips though the tea inside was still too hot to drink. Real coffee and East India tea had been at a premium even out here during the War, so sipping on a cup of it instead of the scouring chain cup of a day old Arbuckles seemed a kind of promise for the future.

            “  He needs us, you know. He’s too stubborn and proud to admit it, but he needs us as much as we need him. “

            Becka Fosse` nodded again and smiled, careful not to open her mouth too wide incase there was a stray gnat lingering near. A small back shape darted across the dried out clay between the porch and the barn, a solitary bat seeking last minute sustenance before the meals disappeared.

            “  We always have tomorrow, Miss Gem.  “

            “  Until the day we don’t. “

            Becka turned and studied the woman’s slanting profile as fast as the light fled the desert like the day’s heat with the setting of the sun at dusk.

            “  Until they day we don’t. “  She agreed, and they clasped hands in an unspoken promise to remain strong and united whatever the daybreak brought their way.

-

-

The End

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