¶
1 There is a peacefulness to night that the daylight shuns
and I walk where I
will; to the sounds of the velvet night.
As a feline I have a freedom denied to my body by the sun
as I move as sinuous
as a silk worm, a fancy taken flight.
2 Street sounds take on a meaning both sinister and sweet
for the imagination supplies endless
data denied to my eyes
clothed in dark majesty central truth becomes oblique
my heart races at the innocuous as time
and dragons take flight.
3 Unhampered by slanting rays of sunlight harsh in the glare
unbound by reality
I twine back alleys in a coat of sleep fur
delicately traipsing ‘ore thresholds I’d otherwise never dare
exploring
the exotic as if it were my due, and I only a blur!
4 My stealthy approach invisible against a sky as dark as I
while my heart pounds so violently in the illusion
I have no control
as bats whirl and windows slide and things go bump in the night sky!
I pause to wash my
fur before I resume my cautious patrol.
5 I need someone to move my arms and legs by day
I depend on the goodness of others to meet my simplest needs
but by night I close my eyes and spirit remodels the clay
I become a denizen of the night impervious to my disease.
6 The pupils
of my eyes become mere slits seeing clearly in the dark
my muscles
ripple with sinuous grace as I explore
my heart eagerly challenges as I journey
about each night to spark
two useless legs; exchanged; as I
move about on all fours.
7 I seek out
the challenges and adventure denied to my other self
but sometimes back alleys full of intrigue give way to a city park,
and I rest beside a stream that races till I am as still as a forest elf
or challenge the chained dogs, the tame dogs, and do it as a lark!
8
No window ledge too high I but I gracefully mount in single leap
to
seek out the challenges and adventure denied my other self
I battle
for my right to be, when others of my kind chance to meet
Some
I win as a proven warrior but others I elude by stealth!
9 “Hi There” The Calico says in a friendly voice and a tweak.
unprepared, I freeze
up. ‘Meow’ I reply in nervous disarray
It never occurred to me that city cats would City Speak!
We wash to buy time; surprised at the strength
of my purr!
10 But she rubs her head under my chin in unmistakable ardor
I want to run, to flee,
but I stay, unable to get enough of her!
With a companion by my side, I find that I may explore further
sharing a commonality
despite the difference in our fur.
11 I wait for the night like a beggar promised a new loaf of
bread
Might press against the ally wall watching for the door to open.
day a necessary blur of people and events
for whatever was said.
faces, the tasks, the needs met by others on whom I must depend
12 Slipping away, yielding to cooling allure of darkness and quiet.
the memories I have
of a life lived full if briefly encountered rest
and I am freed once more to move betwixt my other world in delight
to
seize upon the things denied my mind, those that I like best.
13 Endless variety of fur, eye color, shapes, move through the night
I bully and fight, and crawl and demand,
my rightful place among
a boldness born of nothing left to lose, making up a kingdom bright
of felines wiles and
sensuous curls, of cat naps the day would shun.
14 The Calico comes and goes at will, I cannot
control her moves
she commands me with a touch of whisker or twitch of the tail
I am helpless, joyfully her
prisoner; freely abound, I carefully allude
to lost freedom we pass housedogs, the loss their barks sadly bewail.
15 A devil-may-care air overtakes me despite the Gray’s warning
In solicitude he attempts
to save me from pain known too well
She’ll stay only as long as it suits her, I’ll be cast off, a fling,
She’ll
make no excuses, demure rebuttal. She’s poised, I can tell!
16 But when she comes capriciously near the night turns velvet black
Tenderness
spreading across puddles and splatters imply a graciousness
my daytime caution flees as I leap from building’s rim
simply on a lark
..then she is gone… the Gray vainly to comfort my blackness stark.
17 I learn that both worlds hold disappointment which I must bear
with any regret comes a memory I cling through
this life and that,
‘Your color is good.‘ the man in white murmurs,
his manner I bare
‘whatever you’re doing, keep it up’ he
tells the nurses, that’s that!
18 And I am freed by the weekend to resume my unsteady perch
where
a home dog drove me, racing out a doorway I foolishly ignored,
and I shiver in cold and hunger; at every noise,
I lurch!
Driving my torn claws deeper into the bark, hoping he’ll get bored!
19 It seems important that
I must have some peril in this alternate life
Lest I wake and hear the whispers, the muffled sobs keeping me at bay,
Something
unguessed impels me to measure the weight of my strife….
Dare I leap to the roof and trust to strength none-existent in my day?
20 Then a voice calls “ Kitty, Kitty” and I look
down at them in distain.
I am wild, uncombed; dare they mistake me for a domesticated tabby?
I
snarl and swipe as if my claws are useful and here I’d remain!
Yet ye stands on the edge of the ladder,
coaxing me, sickly and flabby,
21 I guessed at the loneliness of a kindred soul, he who befriended
me,
A portly man full of smells with fish stained fingers to claim me,
His voice offering a connection I long for
but I needs must stay free!
‘We ain’t got much kitty, but you’re safe and warm with Chelsea’n me! “
22 He sighs in a sadness beyond repair and his hand begins to tremble.
‘I’m
sorry dear, I did the best I could’ he calls and I lose a meow.
‘Here,
Grampa! Hear!’ the little girl calls as hope begins to dwindle
‘We must accept the will of the beast; some were never born to kowtow.’
23 Before the full impact of words reach me, I am moved toward him,
I see the little girl’s
face shine with delight implying honey charms
my parallel solitude suddenly too great a weight to define…
I am down the tree bark, head first,
and into the child’s waiting arms!
24 ‘Well, dear. You’ve made another conquest’ he childes her face bright
‘be careful he doesn’t scratch
you’ he says, taking off his sweater
her
arms already surround me with peacefulness and delight
and as his cloth and smell cover me, I feel her warmth against
my fur.
25 We walk so far I repent my moment’s weakness and I stir
attempting to find
a weak place, exposed, allowing me to escape
I open my voice to protest but only a meow emerges, begging her
pride
shattered, a second humiliation and go limp, accepting my fate.
26 ‘Pretty kitty, don’t be
afraid!’ Umbrage strengthens me in disdain.
I am free! I am wild!
I am male! I am tomcat! How dare she?
I’m unceremoniously dumped on a faded couch near a small dog insane!
Barking
at me, leaping in the air, beyond the reach of my claws-wisely!
27 ‘Toby stop!
You’ll scare him! Bad dog!’ ~ The terrier pants wetly
while
I measure the distance to leap on his back and claw out his eyes!
Fear is a goad that reason needed, never betraying
the weakness in me
Yet at his touch, I melt, needing the reassurance of someone older and wise.
28 ‘Chelsea. You have your dinner to finish, I must the other fish prepare.
The doors and windows closed; let’s
see if we can trust him to stay?
But brace yourself, dear, he seems to have minded for his own welfare
To
such a degree he may not need or want the likes of your or me? ‘
29 Her sadness touches me while I was obsessed with the need to explore
I could risk no hidden
shelter for some new pain demon to claim me!
Ignoring the witless dog, I groaned and leapt to the shoddily covered floor.
Though
clean, everything was worn, retrieved from ignobility ~ like me!
30 A bowl was presented with fish skin and meat,
a box meant to be polite,
Then I found myself followed as I slunk from room to room in search
Until
I knew each smell, crannies and crook as we settled in for the night.
The sunlight woke me, as did a noise, I
staggered to my feet with a lurch!
31 Somehow despite my every attempt, my real life attempted
to intrude!
I screamed, I hissed, I protested but was drawn away to the clinical day,
hospital sheets, night
sweats, needles; impersonal procedures cold and rude
and then I drifted neither here nor there, careless, come what
may.
32 I found myself alone at a river’s edge, the water dark and deep.
I rose stiffly and
began to wash; telling myself the other world was dream.
I looked around but saw naught but trees and ravines, cleft
and steep.
‘Meow’? I pleaded to the great emptiness above
and below it seemed.
33. The Calico stepped out from the shadows just beyond my ability to peer
I watch, tense and
frightened at her approach, hating my fear, my need of her
Touching noses with mine she lathed my whiskers, washing away
my fears
‘Miss me while you were out there looking for yourself?’ She asks with a purr.
34. My heart begins to beat so fast it threatened to burst my
chest
the unexpected joy briefly overshadowing the man and child,
and heedless of the threats inherent on city streets
I rest
in the feline embrace of untrimmed claw and fur so wild
35. “Caution! Caution” my larger self
warms as pain rises up against me
and I am feline wild and free with no thought to ever return
why should I give up
that which I control for what I can’t see?
Why should I care for the word ‘daddy’ murmured by the wild fern?
36 “This is real, the other is the dream!” I protest in need
but I am seized by some strange void which holds me between
I writhe and call but no one hears the many meows
I plead?
I have been cast out, a vagrant in dirty fur, unworthy to be seen.
37. Then a ravening pack
out hounds race out of the darkest alley
we scatter, running for our very lives, seeking safety in the forest
I
stand to face the nearest racing beast at the edge of a valley
Ready to sacrifice myself in the face of this final test.
38. Jaws
seize my neck and I am shaken till my teeth come loose
while howls of blood lust sweep past us still chasing her!
Death
turns me cold but I still have life I deduce
And tear into him, a leopard now, sleek with bloody fur
39. My weakness abandoned, I’m fighting now for those I love
and nothing can deny me what
I empowered to possess!
We growl - and bite - and pummel - push and shove
But I will have victory and I’ll stop
for nothing less!
40. Shouldering doubt aside, I stand on all fours
to look around
the scene around me begins to buckle, sway and merge?
What if I can’t do it alone? What
if it can’t be found?
Emptied, I am filled and a new purpose begins to emerge
41. I lift my throat, I open my mouth to wail a panther’s wail
the scene around me trembles, power coursing
through my blood
to save the life of Calico I can not accept the thought to fail!
leaping on pads thick with
a hunter’s cunning begins to flood
42. Failure is NOT an option;
I am a creature of the night!
What power I have is all that I may be able to call
But I won’t give up now without a
fight!
And I find the pack, clawing at them till they limp and fall.
43. Testing my resolve they circle and snap until
I cannot lash
but stand in one place, bloody, beaten but unbowed!
At last we stand alone in the midst of bloody
bushes and grass
she shivers in fear; the bloodthirsty pack dismantled, disavowed
44. “You saved my life, Tom! I can never repay you? I’ll hate you now “
I tremble but remain
upright, tenderly washing a patch of bloody fur
In my dream I call the humans to approach, which she won’t allow
But
I need to know what is mine before I may join myself to another
45 Renewed, hopeful, I feel movement. It’s Calico. Nary a word said,
We
pause to rub heads but then I needs must begin my journey again
Thought I know not what it
is I seek on the path to which I’m lead
Disarray gives way to form; darkness yields we’re
still friends.
46 Having someone near I trust does more than halve the load
I bear
It gives a fresh insight and the hope that tomorrow is worth it,
And I
feel the call to that other life, I needs must go there
But now I know without a doubt that I
have the best in both of it!
47 I find a strength surge through me with purpose
what we cannot change changes us of our choosing
to will with spirit when the body reply we must
quiet
and strong, in storm or shadow, we face gain or lose.
48 With Calico at my side I face that which I had hoped to flee
moving
between worlds I have a purpose and love of my own
as my body withers I come here to be briefly free.
And
when here I follow wherever my heart may freely roam.
49 I introduced Calico to Chelsea but she willed
to be as free
Sometimes I don’t see her; times I forget that she was ever there
As I struggle only
to slide abruptly from one plateau to lesser ability,
learning to cope with new challenges, I slip away to be…there.
50 There is a peacefulness to night that the daylight shuns
and I walk where I will; to the sounds of
the velvet night.
As a feline I have a freedom denied to my body by the sun
as I move as sinuous as a silk
worm, a fancy taken flight.
The End 
