II C IDES Oct - NP ,
Eleventh hour of the day
779 AUC The Roman Garrison
Jerusalem
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‘If they were still in Italia’, Apulio thought to himself with his shoulders hunched against the
wind blowing across the barren, rounded tops of the Jericho wilderness. ‘They’d be reveling in the opening
of the casks of last year’s vintage and sharing their mouths and their laughter and their common spirits with women
who would value good men and good soldiers such as themselves. me especially! I’ve proven I can throw
sons as strong and good as me!’
He thought sourly, but it never occurred to him to simply spur his mount away from the morose figure wrapped in a cloak
on the golden russet stallion who rode before him.
Machba`nel tried to hide his pain in silence, speaking gruffly to his old friend only when there was absolutely no
other choice, accompanied by a cuff that the stout man avoided with ease from long years of experience. Taking his leave of
the slow moving group of soldiers under the command of his Optimo, who’d been disenchanted by the news
that the man they sought had been less than a stadia away from them, leading them in circles like a puppy chasing its own
tail, Machba`nel ben Abishalom allowed the war stallion Titan to pick his own pace up the steep path. He was first of a mind
to stay for the night at one of the rustic the inns sprung up at the water sources in the barren wilderness of the Via
Mares between Jericho and Jerusalem, but seeing the foul looks tossed in his and Apulio’s direction while they
ate and drank, neither soldier was comfortable remaining as only two in the midst of so many with a reason to hate Rome.
The ground seemed
harder than he remembered and even Apulio grumbled the
next morning as he made a rude breakfast for them, content that they could remain in the city since the Nazarene’s steps
were leading Him in this direction for the holiday of Booths the Jews held every year at the start of their rainy season.
‘It seemed a fool’s thing to do to him’, the heavily built man thought to himself as he cleaned up the last sign of their camp, incase one of the zealots they
hunted all summer should stumble across it and realized they were only two men. ‘But when one obeyed the voice of
one’s god you either believed or you didn’t’, and he didn’t wish a cuff from the younger man for voicing his thoughts about a religion he had early in
life divested himself; for all the external care Marcus took not to offend his mother Shelomith.
In the ten
months since he’d been rescued from certain death by the
prophet in the muddy waters of the river Jordan at Aenon near Salim, ‘Marcus’ had been irrational and moody, turning on the Man
who healed him, and the people who loved him for twenty years before his sudden and shocking discovery that all other things
put aside, he was born a Jew and would die a Jew! The self-imposed death of Job’s stunningly beautiful but fragile daughter,
rather than to continue into a married life with him after her over-dependence on her aged father carried her into the grave
three months after him, had changed the easy going Centurion into a wounded beast, looking for a reason to lash out. The death
of a second wife laid to his charge had done little to heal what was trapped at the core of the hard driven Centurion, but
he’d been too large a part of his life for these last twenty years to just walk away, when he had no place else to go
but the army that had sheltered him for these last twenty seven years. But these things were as clear to the younger soldier
as if the old sergeant had inscribed them on his forehead on the broad firm stokes he used for the rest of his life. Apulio
was neither a cunning nor unforgiving man, and the centurion vainly wished himself more like his older mentor.
Since they had reached the Antonio Fortress in safety and be reabsorbed into the tense air of expectation with the
failed Messianic expectations experience at Shavuot leading to more open hostility among the poor and the
young males, there was little more he could do without drawing unnecessary attention to himself once Pilate dismissed him.
His mother and adopted father were still in Capernaum, where gratefully his sister Claudia had chosen to remain, so he wouldn’t
be pestered by his foul and diminutive brother-in-law until they thought there would actually be some excitement with the
execution of the Nazarene. If they suddenly appeared on the scene he would be forewarned that something was up, but as long
as they stayed away he filled his mind with the same rest Pilate had grudging allowed to his men after their lengthy stay
in the field.
Machba`nel lay awake in the familiar shadows of the barracks before the stones outside the fortress could absorb the
changes in temperature as the morning sun cleared the mountain ridge above the walled city. He heard the
quiet shuffle of his aide in the other room, setting out the metal plates and goblets that would hold their day’s meal.
A common enough start to an uncommon day. A fierce joy in anticipation of victory against their faceless enemy, Barabbas the
zealot, flavored the plain but nourishing meal and though he said nothing about the extravagance, he could taste the newly
pressed oil on the food that Apulio must have paid so they wouldn’t be forced to use the old wine of last year’s
harvest as befit mere soldiers.
-
The feasting and wine drinking of the previous night spilled over into this day, and would most likely continue over
the next several days and Machba`nel wondered as much at his own prudish annoyance at this as much as he was his former girlfriend’s
lax attitude toward the distinction between Roman and Jewish holidays, while her youngest, whom his mother had agreed to wed
him to replace the ‘country girl’ he’d so recently lost, cared not a bit for the appearance of proper modesty
while inebriated nor the fact that he was needled by her voice and her attitude. Such matters were in the hands of her parents
and as long as Rachel knew she could continue to live within a stone’s throw of her childhood home, one stallion was
the same as another, she blithely repeated under he wanted to strike her pretty little cheek until it was blood red and not
simply flushed pink with too much wine! And after she left with her mother he fled the too empty house,
without being certain what he wanted to do, except not be alone,
Phoebe looked up in surprise as her chief steward! Her daughter was seated near her knee, indulged in the child’s
game of string and wax that was briefly taking their mind away from the deeper issues they’d been discussing all evening,
and now, here he was! Why? To break the betrothal? To demand his rights to see and know the girl who would
return his right to Italia? Or to mock here because time had not been as kind to either of them as it had
been to others of their class.
“ We were just getting ready to take up our sleeping robes to sleep, Isaac. “
Phoebe lied a little too brightly, eying
the handsome youth at Machba`nel’s shoulder. She earned herself a curious look from her daughter
and a sigh of weary contempt from the man she had loved so well, in vain, in their youth. But then they were both quickly
forgotten in the physical attraction between the two young people who moved to the far corner of the room to avoid being overheard
by their elders.
It was hardly the actions of a girl content in her betrothal to a wealthy and influential man but as long as Isaac
was tolerant, it simply promised an easier time for their marriage once their intimate relations were begun, so Phoebe did
her best to stifle her envy of the younger generations freedoms and set herself to pretend an interest in anything so grim
a visage could utter in her presence. Anything was better than being bored to tears.
“ I would like to talk of civilized things that have no hoary sage or patina of religious observance to them, I thought I would find life and gaiety and pleasure in
stimulating company here, but I have only intruded. My apologies, my lady. I’ll go. “
His tone could have cut through the thickest hide like
the edge of a Damascus’ sword.
“ You
cannot intrude on your own wife and your future mother-in-law, adonai. “ Rachel said in a low, urgent voice that sent a thrill of warning and shock though both
of her elders. The tall uniformed youth remained where he had taken her, his face stiff and white with repressed anger. But
before they could think to scold her or send her away on a childish errand, she walked to him gracefully, the gentle tinkle
of the bells on her slender ankles rising blood to his face and torso in a most embarrassing manner. In the end, her middle
aged mother found a lose and causal excuse to step out of the crowded room, but her daughter seemed not to notice though,
from infancy, she had wailed and fretted the instant her mother was gone from her sight. And Machba`nel was shocked to find
such a questing and eager mind locked behind the feigned shyness.
“ You should be betroth to a man closer to your own age, Child. “
He said unhappily as one of the nearly invisible servants moved to quietly drain and refill the second water clock,
in preparation for the expiration of the first.
“
As a child, I was so in love with a boy with broad shoulders and an empty mind. I wept at his loss in being forced
to cross the great waters, which I fear only second to spiders, and I seriously considered swallowing hot coals in preference
to being given to a man of death and ice cold hands. “
At his shocked silence, she looked up, her lashes shielding eyes as brown and deep as a wild fawn’s. “
And then I met your father, and I thought, ‘If this is the one, I could bear it. I wouldn’t like it,
but I could bear it.’ And he told me I was for you. And I am. If you’ll have me. I won’t die giving you the sons you deserve. My mother and sisters
drop their children easily and return to that for which they were created. Why should it be any less so with me?
“
‘Was Mars
in ascent over the city that everyone was so prickly and ready for a fight?‘ He thought
bitterly. “ Do we haggle over a nanny goat, or speak of lust? “
Cold rage hardened her eyes and her fingers
were they pressed against his kneecap.
“ I can
do what their thin blood could not! Perhaps I should belong to your brother, and not to you! “
“ My brothers
are long dead. “
“
I’m not! I’m alive, Marcus! I have dreams, ambitions, wants, needs! Together we could carve out an empire
and rule it by love and tolerance. Earning the envy of every one of those who see us, together in old age, sharing daily what
they will never know in a lifetime! “
“ It sounded better when your mother said it. “
The fingers squeezed painfully
before they broke free of his grasp.
“
I fear you aren’t as free from morality or religious constraints as you think, Isaac ben Ezra! “
She taunted, poised and ready for the strike of his hand. “ You were speaking of my
brother David? “
“
Of course! “ She laughed in nervous laughter, bracing her trembling form
by placing her clinched hand on her hips. Nothing about him was conforming to the standards she’d learned to expect
in their nine-month visit.
“
He’s only eleven! “
“
And how old is the harlot you chase so publicly? In three years when he’s old enough to bear a wife, I’ll
be eighteen. And eighteen is the age I have to be for my mother to allow me to go to Rome, where his Uncle Lucas of the Piso
Familia is an important man! “
“ That’s the first sensible thing I’ve heard said all night.
“
He stood to
his feet slowly, seeing the puzzlement and disappointment that she hadn’t goaded him into a more physical response,
which he had no doubt would find her placed in the most advantageous position for sex with him. Any thoughts that she was
still a virgin or unaware of the darker side of human nature disappeared like the shadows cast by a bolt of lightening in
the summer sky.
“ I’ll speak to my father when he returns. You’ll get what you want and
the boy will get what he needs, a penis. You may want to loan it to him now and again, little one. “
His gentled voice caught her off guard so his kiss
on her cheek was given safely and his skin withdrawn from the reach of her vengeful clawing until it was too late, so she
shattered a rare Grecian urn against the floor where his feet had just trod.
“ I want a divorce! “ Rachel screamed, loosening
her long, silken hair.
“ Granted. With pleasure. “ He agreed equitably
and moved back into the thickening downpour to escape the past this woman’s mother and her goals bore into his skin.
He knew his mother’s servants would speak to
the servants of this house, if they hadn’t already, and he was only mildly interested in the chance of whether she would
be his sister-in-law or not when Shemi heard of this violent display. It left him free to nurture the one dream he couldn’t
have, but whose hope peeled back the layers of cynicism and doubt. He pictured himself as an old Graybeard carefully loving
and guarding the children born to the royal house. That was good enough. It promised him hope and the hope of redemption,
for he had the blood of too many innocent men on his hands to ever hope for more!
-
There
was furtive movement in the star defined streets, some at ground level as rats scurried away unwilling from their feast of
camel dung and spoiled fruit thrown away from the market and carried here by the passage of so many feet, movements along
the flat edges of the rooftops where most Jerusalemites built their required roofless booths for lack of space with nearly
ten times the normal number of people pressed into the ancient city, and shod feet that followed, hoping to find him away
from the quick answer of pedanite feet; which was highly unlikely as Pilate and Herod Antipas knew the moral tensions and
messianic fervor gripping the countryside as well as Annas or Caiaphas did. A riot would cost them all a great deal, but he knew, in a strange way, that at least one pair of the
feet that followed belonged to a spy for Barabbas, for it was simply good military sense to have men poised in some of the
upper rooms and rooftops incase a chance opportunity gave rise to the opportunity to riot when his own men could be pulled
back to fight another day while those hapless enough to run to the sounds of struggle with drawn swords would pay the ultimate
price of a Roma crucifixion! Sometime it didn’t pay to stick out your neck to help your fellow man,
no matter what the Nazarene tried to teach them!
He avoided streets where homeless men lay, for who could tell when ‘useless’ limbs might suddenly find
strength and one find a dagger buried to the hilt in your belly? He wondered that his only feeling about tonight was dealing with his mother’s disappointment? She was so
set on getting grandchildren, but he was middle aged and Claudia was married to a man lover, their one child was still a fluke
he had a hard time accepting as Rueben’s except for the odd delicacy of the child’s fragile body, even frailer and more slender than his younger sister. And even more beautiful, if that were
possible, No, children to gather around Shelomith’s knee would require his marriage, and he had no doubt she already had two or three candidates already lined up, no matter
what he thought.
He couldn’t
rest in his vigilance until he passed the sentry at the massive arched gate to the Antonia Fortress, with its four towers
reached to support the heavens itself and the weight
of so many stars visible despite the nearness of the rainy season. Apulio had water and a sweat tool at hand, to free him
for the baths, for which he was profoundly grateful. there was a small mineral pool at the back of the main baths reserved
for the soldier’s use that occasionally ran red with the dissolved minerals from limestone which gave rise to it, but
tonight he wasn’t sure if he wanted it to run like blood, or not. And that was so unlike him, he couldn’t even
risk opening his mouth to acknowledge Apulio’s gruff greeting, like a wounded wife whose had to eat a supper alone to
keep from eating it cold.
When he stripped off the linen toga he’d thrown over himself casually, since he didn’t expect to meet anyone
else at the baths this late at night, he found his own body a curiosity even after the waters closed over his shoulders, damping
the lengthy hair that was locked into tight ringlets by sweat from under his Lorica. By turn, he raised each
leg once he was submerged, studying the various dents and gaps in the hardened muscles as if he were examining a gladiator
he wished to purchase for a personal bodyguard. He remembered the pain of the infections where white scars now marked the
deep pits and boils that accompanied battle with the barbarians. He remembered the time to took for them to heal, the stench
of the various compounds Apulio patiently worked into the muscles to heal them and keep them from wasting away and he realized
why the flighty girl paled in comparison to a manservant and a friend he could trust.
Though he hated the very thought of being touched in that way by a man’s flesh, whether his finger or his member,
for the first time in his nearly forty decades of life he understood how a man could bond to another man without any sexual
intensity between them, and why it was all but impossible for him to wish that kind of union with a woman. They died too easily.
They took his seed inside themselves and they wilted to death under it. He’d almost been glad this fecund, round female
had disposed of him so easily for a youth who could answer what drove her on the inside. He had his fantasy, he had his memory
of the beautiful girl he’d loved, who’d protected his vulnerable years, Aurelia Leite. Even her name was as soft
and wonderful as she had been.
His member
hardened and rose above the hairy thighs vainly attempting to restrain it, although he was here alone. He hadn’t meant
to think of the prophet’s younger sister, but she was so sure in her youth, so unaware of the beauty budding around
her, and so innocent for all that she thought herself worldly from traveling the countryside beside her older half-brother
as He taught and healed people as casually as a housewife might scatter used grain to the chicken and geese in her courtyard.
But he needed children to satisfy his mother’s cravings, and he was the last of her six children to offer that,
even though he was middle aged. Children to play with her children, to give him an excuse to watch them all fondly in old
age and be grateful he never indulged in an old man’s foolishness except in his mind! She was the only unmarried sibling
left to a king who needed to solidify his kingdom as quickly as possible once he confronted Rome. But there was neither fear
nor doubt in his mind that King Jesus would marry her off to an old man for political gain, like her older sister’s husband had done to his three girls, nor that he would
allow her to marry for anything but love; he was too good, too kind; but that didn’t mean he couldn’t indulge
in a little harmless fantasy in his own mind, did it? He questioned, as he pictured the house he’d visited in tonight
as thought it belonged to him and the long limbed girl with the name as lovely as she, Ahava, ‘Beloved’.
Days slid into weeks, marked only by Sabbath dinners with his mother when he was in Jerusalem, that
were profoundly quiet and enjoyable as long as he didn’t mention the hunt for Barabbas or the struggle with the Nazarene’s
growing fame, although she brought in a hopeful woman from time to time and seemed to take great care in selecting young Jewish
bondswomen who would be freed in four years by the Year of Jubilee in 3790. Claudia brought six month old Uriel with her to
celebrate Purim with her mother and older brother, and was surprisingly skillful in the play she wrote and acted in with her
new Jewish friends who were likewise matrons with young children, and Shelomith seemed to relent as she noticed she had more
Gentile friends than her daughter did, and as long as they kept their time together to a minimum and she didn’t inquire
too deeply about what her willful daughter did outside of her house or her husband’s city house in Upper Jerusalem they
could even pretend they were finally a happy and close knit family.
He would steal the little charmer away from her nurse until Uriel giggled herself into a sound sleep, and each time
he promised himself to tide to the coast to see about Sh’muel and Hodesh’s new baby, but the well intention thought
evaporated like the heat around his body as soon as he stepped into the winter’s chill outside the luxurious house.
All too quickly the weapons were being unwrapped and
the sounds and smells of forges kept the air stale in the closed in center of the former Herodian palace. Any day, the Nazarene
would walk into the waiting maw of His enemies, and Machba`nel was sure if he was glad to finally have it begun, or he dreaded
finding some weakness had grown in their absence as the Nazarene’s fame grew to such Herculean size he doubted half
of it could be true.
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*
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Friday, 5th of
Heshvan
First watch of the day
3788
Galilee
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The
fact that Jesus kept his mother and Mary the Magdalene, from whom He’d recently cast seven demons, at his side with
the fishermen He was teaching to cope with the growing numbers of people coming to hear Him after having been with Him in
Jerusalem for Sukkoth, helped to illustrate His intention to continue reforms and teaching as well as the miracles of healing
flowing from those gentle and generous hands. Adding to the natural excitement of messianic and nationalistic fervor. The
number of people in their group varied as some remained with Jesus for days after they were healed, and others long weeks
and although they didn’t travel long with any one group for protection against Barabbas and his ‘freedom fighters’,
the caravan trail was so heavily used it was easy to find a group to which they could attach themselves for half a day.
So Ahava found herself challenged by the thought they had to give it up so soon to return to Jerusalem for the winter,
alone with Deborah’s husband and the surly eunuch scholar, but she could imagine herself in her older sister’s
place and she could only imagine how lonely Deborah was in that great house, with only her seven month old son for company.
Five-year-old Me-dad was broken hearted to discover he must allow Nimrod to leave the farm with Ahava. Mary had promised
they would return to Jerusalem to be with Deborah until Jesus returned for Passover in Abib. As they gathered
their belongings, she found the small boy holding tightly to the leather strap around Nimrod’s neck, vainly attempting
to keep the dog from leaving him. She knelt beside the tear stained boy. No matter how she tried to reassure him, he was inconsolable
at his loss as Nimrod struggled to be free of the tightening grip.
“ Esther! Esther! Make her leave him! I love Nimmy!
“
The five-year-old
boy sobbed, throwing his arms around the dog’s slender chest.
“ I’ve spoken to Ima, Me-dad. And she’s given us permission to go
with Uncle Joshua and pick out a puppy from one of the litters in Capernaum. There’s one there with a puppy old enough
to leave its mother and become a wonderful hunter with your help! Then when his father returns next year,
you’ll be able to show how brave and strong you are! The way you and...your...dog have protected mother
and me. But we have to go quickly, or we’ll be left behind. “
Me-dad eyed his older sister with
grave doubt, unused to this gentle a voice from her,
“
Is Uncle Joshua going with us? “ He asked suspiciously.
“ No.
“ The fifteen year old answered, unable to look over at the younger girl who was listening
with such interest. “ He has to stay here and protect Ima and the baby and Bidkar
is ready to help us anytime we need extra help. “
“ Bidkar wants to marry
you and take you away! “
“ Even when we marry, you and Abba will always be the first men in my life. I will keep a
place for you that none other can fill. “
The boy bit his lower lip and simply looked more miserable. Then the girl’s face brightened as she reached dog
and patted the speckled dog happily.
“ Just as
Nimmy will always be the first one in your life, I know in my heart that you will find a special place of love for the son
that we bring home to guard and protect Ima. “
Doubt slowly gave way to joy
“
I want to get the right one. He has to be brave...and pretty...like Nimmy! “
“ You
don’t mind, do you, princess? “
“ Not in the slightest, I look forward to it. “
She assured the quiet girl as she stood to her feet. “ But please!
Just call me Beloved. “
The fifteen-year
old glanced down at her dusty feet, unable to take such liberties.Judith was able to confirm there was a litter of puppies containing one with one blue eye and one green eye and
its owners would be only to happy to see it go, but it wasn’t yet old enough to leave its mother! Bernice
didn’t feel up to leaving the farm, even over-night but Esther and both of her brothers were given permission to come
into town and remain with Jesus until he left in the morning. Esther and Ahava took Me-dad to the house with him to actually
see the little brown dog he was sure he wouldn’t like. It was all they could do to get him to agree to wait to take the puppy home after it was weaned. In fact, he hardly
thought to say goodbye to her in his anxiety to get home and get everything prepared for the new arrival. She wasn’t
sure how pleased Zobe’bah would be at having to answer the same question every day, but at least she wouldn’t
have to be there to tell him .not yet’ till the
sound of her own words ran out her ears, the way the older mother complained. In an odd way, it made her happy to look forward
to the day when it would be her own children asking, and having watched so many other mothers in the same situation, she was
growing more confident in her ability to have and raise a baby herself.
Ahava tried not to struggle with a sense of loss, but as kind as The Magdalene was to her, she couldn’t take
her mother’s place while Mary was absent. If she didn’t return soon, they might miss her she was sure both Jesus
and Hilkiah were anxious to stop and visit with Sihon on their way to Nazareth to speak with the brothers, but an odd pulsing
of fear seized her at the thought of her mother’s prolonged absence making it feel as though it were time for her woman’s
flow, when nothing of the herbs or tea would settle her stomach or relieve the dull ache. It was too vivid a precursor of
the days she would have to live beyond her mother’s span of life and she felt so totally unprepared no matter how often
Dod Hilkiah or Dode Judith reassured her, as she had heard them reassure their own children in times past. That wasn’t
now, they weren’t her! When the Centurion Machba`nel rode up in a chariot pulling by a steaming black horse0, her heart
dropped to her knees! He always rode his stallion, why was this time different?
Though he took the time to greet Jesus and one or two of the others with great respect and deference unable to risk
looking directly at the upturned face watching his with such pained anxiety, he made room for the frightened thirteen year
old at his side, resting his arm protectively over her shoulder.
“ Forgive me, Majesty, but your sister Deborah requests your hastened arrival, if at all possible,
Honored One, for she has great fear for her husband’s life. I told her I would offer my help. I wouldn’t dare
to command you with such urgency but wish merely to reflect the sincerity of your sister’s request. “
“
Please. Take a moment to breathe. Come, sit. Beloved? Tea and food, please? You must be very tired, my friend. “
The Roman seemed to melt before her very eyes at the softness of her brother’s words and concern.
She fought his strengthening finger grip on her shoulder, but before she could rush to obey her brother’s request, the
Magdalene arrived with a bowel of warmed water, and Suzanne carried a plate of steaming food as if she were a common woman
and not the wife of someone so important.
“ Thank you, Majesty. I feel as though I’m needed in three places
at once and…” He stopped abruptly at the
gentle touch on his arm.
“ You must trust the Holy One, Blessed be His Name, to carry some of the
burden, don’t you think, Marcus? “
“ I’m not sure how
to answer, LORD. “ He said bluntly but Jesus’ smile only deepened as He
grasp the things left unsaid except in the soldier’s grim look of reproach.
“ Honesty is always appreciated. Please, eat. There is much we
have to give thanks for when you’ve eaten and rested. “
“ The horse!
“ He said urgently, almost slipping the food and steaming tea.
Hilkiah caught his hand and held the
plate upright, although the cup tipped, spilling some of the nearly scalding brew on the man’s hairy legs.
“
My son Noah took care of him as soon as you arrived, and the driver sleeps. You must have pushed both of them very
hard, my friend. Allow us to care for you, if you will, Centurion? “
Machba`nel struggled visibly against
the gentle, love filled tone and the look of acceptance on the younger man’s face as He watched them tenderly. But exhaustion
took its toll. He was more accustomed to riding short legged on the back of his stallion than standing in the back of a rocking
boat on wheels speeding dangerously down rutted and muddy roads!
When he woke, he was told the Nazarene had left, and he assumed it was to travel speedily to Jerusalem to answer his
sister’s plea for help, so he turned his attention to the Master’s mother and younger sister, who would follow
on foot. Though Mary protested at first, he spoke a few words in low, urgent tones that included the name of Barabbas, and
though her mother paled alarmingly, she merely nodded and agreed to allow him to accompany them as soon as the Sabbath was
past.
Once
they had to say goodbye, Hulah and Ahava clung to one another, close to tears at yet another parting, and it took most of
her determination to put away the sense of sorrow as she helped Elisheba with, Caleb, who was born on the 3rd.
It was shocking to discover Simon and sister-in-law had no plans to take the baby to Jerusalem, although they promised to
have him circumcised on the eighth day of his life. She just took it for granted, like she did so many other of the ‘natural’
restraints she grew up without questioning. Once the others were asleep, she stood up cautiously, wrapping
herself in the worn bear-skin against the cold outside the house, as she sought out the solitude that was becoming more and
more of her life as her mind filled up with thoughts too fragile to survive the ravages of the day’s demands. They required
more of her mind that she could give when she was tending one of the babies or helping to knead flour and leaven for the evening
meal. Judith was trying to teach her how to cook flat bread, without leaven, but she burned it too quickly when her mind wandered,
carried to one side by the weight of the things she’d locked away. They required stars and open air and peacefulness,
and lately there’d been so little of that!
Nimrod played in
the darkness after the moon disappeared, but she just squatted on the chill stones, feeling each moment flow through her like
milk being stirred in tea, swirling in new and different patterns that were to be savored before old age stole away her joy,
the way she heard the adults complain so bitterly. There was a fitting feel of both beginning and ending once they would reach
Cana. She could only imagine how deeply Sihon grieved the loss of his tiny wife to the growing child they both longed for
had grown too large for her body to sustain itself, dying so soon after his father and sister! So little of life had turned
out the way she expected it would when she spent her time playing with Sheba or learning new wool patterns to weave at her
sister Deborah’s knees. And yet, a curious new
sense of boldness was seeping into her lengthening bones and strengthening muscles. In only twelve more weeks, in Shebat,
she was have her fifteenth birth date celebration and the remainder of her life would be opened to her as she put her childhood
behind her. And as she closed her arms tighter across his chest, somewhat painfully, to cover the growing orbs that seemed
to be drawing boys’ attention to her like never before, she opened her heart to the Great Unseen, steeling herself for
whatever challenges and joys might still lay ahead as she vaguely pictured the boy who would be her husband and her first
days having a home of her own to run. Only when the warmth of Nimrod’s fur across her bared feet became too pleasant
to keep her eyelids open any longer did she stretch and yawn, finally willing to sleep away these last fleeting and precious
moments of ease.
At the point
where a white thread could be discerned in the open air, Judith woke Ahava and Elisheba. Elisheba complained that the boy
had kept her awake too often in the night, and though she knew this was a half-truth they accepted the plea with a gracious
smile, having breakfast ready for the journey to the house of Sihon ben Job. Their jenny Delilah was too old to carry their
burdens or the weight of the young mother and the growing child; so by carrying some of the goods on her own shoulders, and
with Simon’s help, they restructured their travel to allow the new mother to ride at least part of the time on the back
of the sturdy young he-donkey Sihon and Keren-happuch gave them. Susanna cried a little when her son chose to remain with
the small group of twenty adults accompanying Jesus rather than returning to the palace with her, but even as she said goodbye
and gave his tutor Philip Baroni a sizable pouch of gold coins to be kept for an emergency, she seemed to reflect a pride
in him that would be difficult for any young boy’s shoulders, much less a lad who’d been sickly until the Master
healed him.
As Hulah and Davie linked hands and raced to her, she pulled their unity and youthful joy deep inside her heart as
balm for the long-time wound. Ishmael, the youthful eunuch forced to accompany them, acted as though he would relax his vigilance
against her body, since he was instructed to teach only her mind, but within an hour he was grunting with exertion and casting
dark sidelong looks of hatred toward her as the source of his pain and his isolation from his master’s new children
by her eldest niece. The four day journey at the Centurion’s side would carry them from
the rounded hills and broad, amiable valleys of Galilee to the steep cliffs and terraced villages of Judea. Each day seemed
to fly by as it carried her and their mother closer to her older sister Deborah.
At
the first rest stop for lunch, Mary the Magdalene, who had become a dear friend in the short time she’d been with Jesus’
group called to Ahava, as she was playing with a strange girl as if they’d been a friend for a lifetime. As soon as
the girl saw the Magdalene, about whom she’d heard vague, vicious rumors, she excused
herself and scampered back to her own camp; the illusion shattered, leaving the pretty thirteen year old confused about who
and what she could trust as soon as people knew she was the Master’s younger sister, so she fell back to the company
of the adults she’d known for a long time, or people she trusted instinctively, like the Magdalene, who’d been
such a comfort to her after the shame of being rejected in Magdala but the boy’s mother who felt Jesus’ ‘outburst’
in Abib, ‘against holy men’ as she put it, hearing only her husband and sons’
reports, ‘showed a ‘strain of insanity she didn’t want mixing with their blood’. Without Mary’s help, she would have been devastated, as much by the insult to
herself as to her mother and brothers!
Mary
in turn marveled at the young girl’s resolute ability to make demands on her body, staying up long hours into the night
to help women who’d been brought to Jesus for healing, and seeing their cures with ever growing awe. Though they usually
traveled at a leisured pace to allow her brother an opportunity to speak and heal in the villages they passed, the chilling
weather of winter and the natural reduction of the main body traveling with them allowed them to make plans to be in Naim
in time for Ischah’s marriage and the celebration of her fourteenth birthday with her mother’s oldest friends
from Jesus’ birth in Bethlehem thirty odd years ago. The threatened rain held off till after they
made their first night’s camp, huddling under a full sized tarp of some darkish animal hide that was sewed together
to make a lengthy oblong. Additional skins were unrolled and strung down on three sides, allowing them a remarkable amount
of warmth and comfort despite the tiny size of the fire laid in the center of the tents circle.
As she lay beside her mother she listened to the individual strokes of the wet sounding droplets of late rain after
the storm itself had passed, as if from nearby branches, timing their jump to her quiet heartbeat. Nimrod raised his head
and laid it against her calf as he watched her till she laid back down, her arm hurting from the solid ground underneath the
traveling mat. Her mother stirred restless in her sleep but drifted back to the continued warmth. When he had to go out into
the damp, Ahava stood up with him, wrapping herself inside the bearskin, smelling the odd odor gave off when wrapped around
a heated human body. The wind stung her as it pushed past the stone-secured flaps and tiny drops of rain gathered on the edge
of her lashes as she shivered and wished the dog could
hurry. She heard the soft press of feet behind her as someone walked up on the balls of their feet.
“ I’m
not going to have to rescue you from the rain, am I, Beloved? “ A deeply masculine and amused voice asked, and she edged closer to his warmth without
thinking. Judas Iscariot. One of her brother’s most trusted and valuable friends, next to Jude Thaddeus,
and she felt safe being near him.
“
Not me. “ She said meaningfully but he just laughed and shook his
head ‘no’.
“ The little dog has enough sense to get in out of the rain, its people I worry
about. “
A fire sparked
into being at the caress of his voice, but she yawned sleepily and wished again the little dog wouldn’t feel it necessary
to investigate every possible site before choosing one! His patience, razor thin, ran out before the speckled dog’s
interest and biding her goodnight the handsome man walked to his place by the fire, leaving her with an oddly empty feeling
she was afraid to explore. It was flattering to be at the center of a grown’s man’s interest and approval. Nimrod
waited until he stood in the shelter beside them before he shook off the raindrops clinging to his short, glistening coat,
breaking them apart in laughter and mild disgust. She thought her heard footsteps coming in their direction, like someone
walking on the balls of their feet but when the noise ceased abruptly at the approach of Hilkiah, to make certain she was
settled in for the night, which she dismissed it as her too active imagination, given the excitement and uncertainty of camping
out in the open so far from a village or a shepherd’s cave. And hurrying through her nighttime prayers, she gratefully
took her place under the aged bearskin at her mother’s side. As Barabbas withdrew even further away, cursing his luck.
“ You’re
cold. “ Mary complained, more asleep than awake as her youngest daughter laid
down beside her, but Ahava had laid the skin over both of them and they were quickly warmed, while she lay in the dark reviewing
the exciting changes from the life she expected to live in Nazareth as the wife of a local boy. There was still the boy in
Jerusalem to meet, as well as the other, and if she were chosen there, she could be near both her older brother and sister,
and Masrekah had spoken of Lemuel as a gentle youth, the seventh son in a contented family. Look how well the old matchmaker
had chosen her mother for her father Joseph. It was a wonderful place from which to start a dream!
With a deep sigh, Nimrod curled up in his accustomed place in the crook of his young mistress’ legs, instantly
asleep while she lay awake through time she had no way of measuring even after the rain stopped.
-
Wanting
to be with Deborah before dusk they had hastened to the oddly upraised house and locked courtyard of Zaavan ben Jehoiarib
as soon as they arrived in Jerusalem. Since the streets were
unmarked and shared by the same family for generations, it might have been difficult to locate one house on the steep plateau
facing the Valley of Hinnom had it not been for the strange nature of the estate being two houses, one built on top of the
other, and covered by a tower which had once been a watchtower. It was said to be over the site of an ancient
series of runways and tunnels built over the generations for smugglers and the righteous household owners alike, and as a
place of curiosity, it was well known even to the Gentle vendors they encountered, who were willing to speak to them in hopes
of gaining a few brass or copper coins from their men folk, who were crowded here in town for the holiday. But once they found
it, they were unable to rouse anyone to come to the massive wooden gates? All noise and activity from the
courtyard ceased except for the vicious barking of the chained watch dogs, while inside the house there was a flurry of activity on the lower two floors.
“ Master!
Master! Your wife’s mother has arrived and she seeks admittance! What shall I do?
“
Drool trickled out
of the side of his mouth as he stared in uncomprehending shock at the force of the statement, unable to make his mind understand
its intent.
Nadia of Memphis
stepped up behind the cowering wretch and kicked him to his knees, rebuking him for disturbing the Master with such flagrant
foolishness. Only Zaavan’s eyes moved within their folds of fat as he conceived the aged and bony woman as a kind of
savior, taking away the demands of the household that wanted to crush him like a hard shelled beetle under the hooves of a
road weary camel! The curses in Egyptian were against himself, but Zaavan had no way of knowing that and he fainted, simply
to avoid them. In their mistress Bithynia’s unexplained
and lengthy absence, having taken her chief steward
Abiasaph with her, there was a marked distain for Deborah and her wishes among her Egyptian servants, but as long as she said
nothing, Ahava wasn’t comfortable trying to put things right on her own. Like her brothers James and Joses, she was
deeply concerned by the servant’s arrogance in burning the necessary incense in the house on the chief alcove as you
entered the house. It was idolatry, pure and simple, but without Zaavan’s daily attendance it had to be tolerated.
“ This was still Bithynia’s property in their simple minds, even if she’d fled its comforts so quickly after giving birth to her third son and they were stubbornly prepared
to resist any influence that seemed to deny this. ”. She said tartly, vainly attempting tried to send out the Greek youth Rueben ben Heznon had given to the Fool, pretending that
he was an accountant, and not merely a spy, to check
and see if perhaps these were only beggars impatient at the delay in their pleases for food being ignored, but he refused,
so she sent one of her own, though she scarcely trusted him a cubit further. He reported in a low whisper, even though they were safely inside, that although the girl at the gate
was taller and fuller than he remembered, it was clearly the same girl, and who could miss the speckled dog urinating against
the gate, just missing the edges of his sandals?
Muttering curses at them he hoped they didn’t understand and plaguing Annulus the jackal headed
god of the underworld for the thousandth time to take them all, as soon as possible! They all lived for the day their true
mistress would return on as sudden a whim as they left them in the middle of the night last year, unleashing the fool and
hi sharp tongued woman on them without thought for anyone but herself ! He unbolted the iron latch with difficulty and slid
the gate open, hoping that red-haired giant of hers wasn’t with the girl this time!
“ Ignore them, maybe they’ll go away like the other one! “
-
. After
several knocks and shouts failed to draw the gate keeper, the smaller inner dog was opened Little Rue, a serving girl who
was almost as shy and tall as Hulah, who risked a severe beating by letting them in. Motioning for Ahava to hold Nimrod in
her arms, holding his nose to keep him from barking? It was the first of several strange events that warned things weren’t
going as well for Deborah as a rich man’s wife as her prolonged silence had implied. The moment they
entered the massive courtyard below the two and a half story mansion, they were overwhelmed by the unbroken activity. The
stables had been closed in and used for storage, and the smell of men’s overheated bodies quickly overcame the flowers
and fresh cut palm fronds decorating the only cleared space where roofless booths had been set up for the family’s use
at night.
“ I
don’t like this, Ima! “ Ahava whispered as low as she could.
And as they approached the house, two older women, who
gave up glaring at the impotent girl leading them, very rudely bent over to expose the back of their legs, expelling gas so
nosily and laughing that Ahava struggled with the impulse of kicking the amble targets in turn! But for her sister’s
sake she refrained. The lovely Bithynia would surely punish their rudeness much more than she could dare to do without giving
the widow far worse insult! In their Egyptian mistress’ unexplained and lengthy absence, having taken her chief steward
with her, and there was a marked distain for Mary’s questions about her eldest daughter’s whereabouts. Puzzled,
Mary whistled the small dog back from his attentions to the recent pile of camel dung left buzzing under the hot sun, and
motioned for Ahava to follow so the dog would come inside. Her face a growing mask of concern at the smells that assaulted
them along the narrow, unlighted tunnel leading to the first series of rooms on the ground floor. The only
light, once the flap was allowed to fall shut behind them by Rue, was the bowel of incense left burning in the chief alcove
at the end of the hall where the corridor turned sharply east or west. It was idolatry, pure and simple, but without Zaavan’s
daily attendance it had to be tolerated. This was still Bithynia’s property in their simple minds, even if she’d
fled its comforts so quickly after giving birth to her third son and they were stubbornly prepared to resist any influence
which seemed to deny this.
Martha described Deborah
as desperately alone and lonely, but when she’d tried to gain entrance, she’d been refused on three different
occasions! Apparently her husband Zaavan was paying the bills and providing for all her physical needs in exchange for the
rare nights he entertained someone from Jewish circles, preferring to meet his new Roman friends and contacts in his permanent
residence in one of Evi and Rueben’s discrete establishments for the very rich clients they continued to introduce him
too.
The narrow tunnel at the entry to the converted warehouse
made their foot treads sound like the tramp of a marching army while the too sweet incense being burned in front of a small,
tarnished silver idol of a woman with a hundred rounded paps rose to the surface of the high, dim hallway.
“ I don’t know when Hilkiah will meet back up with us here, so go! Go back outside
and get me two sticks! Girl, you run upstairs to be with your mistress, with my blessings and thanks. I don’t want the
blame for any of this to fall on you when we’re gone. Go! “
Rue turned and fled toward the curved
staircase on the right like a frightened gazelle being pursued by a hungry leopard!
“ Beloved, do as I say! Take the dog if you need to, just get two sticks and come back here
as quickly as you can! Let no one stop you! “ Mary demanded, standing in place
with her hands on her hips. Ahava was aghast. She’d never seen her mother so angry!
While one servant was sent scurrying to the second floor suite where the current mistress hid, a stern faced matron
approached with two flimsy pieces of firewood. Apparently she thought they would be broken and laid on the smoldering embers
as a token, as the Fool sometimes did, thinking it would please them and knowing they would say nothing to his wife as she
hid upstairs. If this was going to be a contest of wills, she was going to win since she’d been here since youth, appointed
by the true mistress of the stolen house!
Tossing
them to her feet, Mary pulled off her head covering and seized the offending
idol, smashing it against the ledge where the bowl and sticks of incense stood, causing them to rise with each slam until
the figure in her hand broke into two pieces, the head rolling to a stop at the foot of the enraged chief serving woman. Then
she flung the hollow body and pedestal behind her, striking the wood framed doorway before it tumbled out into the sunlight,
catching slivers of silver white in the folds of the goddess.
Ahava stared at the bodiless torso with its multitude of full, milk-swollen paps at the base of the alcove, afraid
to pick it up or leave it where it was.
“
I’ll deal with you later! “ Deborah’s voice said
coldly from the bottom of the staircase to their right. Her hair was uncombed, her face streaked and swollen with tears, and
she had to hold the outer tunic across her swollen torso.
It took
the frowning servant several minutes to realize it was she who was being rebuked and sent away, and the lesser maids hid from the fury of her wrath, having lost
any fear of the shrill voiced matron from Nazareth.
“ A boy, Ima. This time I will give him the boy he needs, and deserves!
“ Deborah said excitedly, her breath betraying the
nausea that had driven her upstairs to her suite of rooms.
Her
younger sister followed after them with a sinking heart. The suite of rooms she’d taken over in rival’s absence
had access to half of the flat roof of the downstairs floor. The view screened by intricately carved screens, not unlike those
at shul to separate the women from the men, but here they had access to the Temple dedicated to Yahweh Elohim and
were allowed as far as the outer courtyard of the shining structure. Though not the first Temple, which Solomon built from
the treasures his father collected, it was a magnificent structure dominating Mount Moria and saw said to be built over the
spot where father Abraham was prepared to offer up his beloved son Isaac as a sacrifice when seemingly called too by GOD.
Miniature palm trees grew up from
weathered clay pots and the direct sun overhead was filtered through a fine, greenish yellow material she assumed was once
flaxen linen cloth. There was seldom enough of a breeze to fan it upright, so it hung as motionless as overripe fruit over
the benches that birds used with impunity. There were only blackened tops of bird droppings, so they were new. Another sign
that the servants made no attempt to clean or scrub the private ar4ea of their enforced new mistress, yet its shade and illusion
of beauty and peace in the midst of such a busy city was alluring in its unfilled promise. A small, caged bird in drab brown
plumage gave way to a thrilling son from time to time and Ahava had to hold her breath as the graceful and regal stork stalked
toward the scattered bread crusts she’d thrown out, as if the wise old bird was deciding whether or not to accept her
meager homage.
Suddenly it rose straight up the air; it’s long, slim legs dangling in the air before its powerful wing span
carried out from under the shade as a man’s voice raised in anger set the guard dogs to barking viciously. Nimrod raised
his head from his paws, watching the regal stork leave, as if in great regret. Just as she was realizing he hadn’t chased
it, as he would have done as a witless puppy, Zaavan ben Jehoiarib burst in the doorway to the larger room. His face a red
and mottled mask of rage that left Deborah cowering at his feet, trying to knell and protect her stomach while she clasped
her hands over the back of her neck. In that instant she realized the bully was beating her into submission and she leaped
to her feet, ready to starch and claw at his eyes of he dared tried such a dishonorable act in front of her; but seeing Mary
in the room with her two daughters he restrained himself with massive effort.
She’d never seen her mother so angry, not even downstairs this morning when she slammed the head off the statue!
Zaavan ended up backing into the hall as the diminutive widow kept advancing, her finger under his nose like a straightened
bird’s beak ready to poke out his eyes at the first sign of resistance. His submission was too genuine to allow her
wrath to continue, and quiet was quickly restored as he patted and cooed at his trembling wife with no sign of the rage he’d
entered with into the profoundly feminine room. For a moment Ahava wished she could stay here forever, to protect Deborah
from the beating that would surely follow their departure, for though she smiled often in answer to his soft words, she was
unable to raise her gaze from the floor near his grossly swollen feet.
The
moment he brought them downstairs, a lean, hawk-like woman rose, to rush to Deborah’s side weeping, as if they were
family and too long separated without hope of reunion. Within minutes Deborah’s natural arrogance returned, although
she did no more than look in his general vicinity when Zaavan spoke.
As young
as she was, she recognized the wealth of the woman exceeded that even of Zaavan in his meteoric rise since his arrival in
Adar. The use of the name ‘Jerusha’ meaning the stern faced woman of nearly
sixty rather than their own tender girl, warned Ahava that she was being watched as closely as she was watching, although
neither of them would be so rude as to be caught at their preliminary evaluation of one another. She found herself admiring
the soft spoken but confident woman, and wondered a little at the youngest boy who was to be her husband in another eighteen
months.
At the same time she was glad that
Shahsak’s wife hadn’t brought him with her. It was quite enough to get used to the dam of the pride without being
overwhelmed by its cubs! It was said that her eldest Judah was as strong as an ox, as pretty as a woman, and as stubborn as
a mule that’s been raised in his master’s tent like one of the children! Hopefully, as the
youngest of seven such sons, Lemuel wouldn’t have anything left to bully like Zaavan did Deborah! Since she would be
the seventh and least wife, she could pretty much live out her own life as she and the boy wanted, and she hated to admit
that sort of freedom was appealing, even though Deborah would be nervous enough about the impression she made on people so
import to Zaavan’s career, she would have only to excuse herself and go back to her mother-in-law’s house and
Deborah would be too frightened of Jerusha to think to object.
As she smiled to herself, she chanced
to see the hawk-like old woman looking in direction, and they shared a wordless smile between them as if they were the only
two people in the room. Ahava’s young heart rose in the air like the mottled stork, her spirits aloft with new pleasure
and anticipation of her future mother-in-law’s genuine approval. A terrible scream rent the still air, causing the tall youth to blanche as pale as the unlit hallway surrounding
them. Little Rue came running down the stairs,
her thick, black hair pulled from its usual neat placement at the top of her head. Her eyes grew so wide they seemed to fill
the upper half of her face.
“ The
baby comes! “
“
Ahava! I love you! I can see that you’re afraid. But can you come with me, please? “
Mary bat Eli rushed in past the two youngsters,
sending the frightened maid back upstairs. Then suddenly a familiar male face came to the hallway, as the shadowed youth fought
for breath. It was Abner the former gardener!
“
Praise the Holy One you’ve come just in time, Dode Miriam ! I can’t find a midwife who’ll come to this wretched house!
“ Abner stopped
at the head of the stairs leading down to the kitchen and gave them a each a quick embrace, grateful to be relieved of a woman’s
task, and quickly disappeared as if they’d only dreamed him from a better time on Lazarus’ farm. The smells of
food that suddenly followed up with the opening of an inner door seemed all the more alluring to Ahava, because she knew she
couldn’t stop to ask even a crust of bread and fresh cheese!
“ Dode? I’ve helped
at many a difficult lambing, let me help. “ Noah suggested.
A piercing scream seized the sides of
the narrow staircase leading up to Bithynia bat Adbeel’s former quarters on the second floor and seemed to shake it.
“ Yes, come, but wash your hands. After we’re up there!
“
It seemed an odd
request. One his father or Uncle Asa had never asked in attending a ewe, and there wasn’t time to argue, unless he wanted
to do it with her back as the out of breath widow forced herself up the curved staircase as fast as her over-extended muscles
would allow.
A friendly voice called to the speckled dog back as Nimrod started to race up the narrow staircase, following the mixture
of scents overlaying his mistress’ familiar spore, but though he dimly recognized Noah’s voice, he kept on going,
spurred by the smell of blood and the prolonged cries of a woman in pain. Night fell
before the birthing rope yielded to the woman’s extreme grip on it Unlike her previous experiences, Deborah’s labor didn’t become an effort till the birds
were silenced by the arrival of dusk, flushing out the wrinkled form with a fierce grunt and push. as a bloody bundle sank
into sight between her purpling thighs and calves, caught by the kneeling widow who’d been massaging her daughter’s
extend abdomen with one hand and gently pulling the oversized babies’ shoulders free in the birth canal as gently as
she dared. The premature child gave a faint wail of shock and rejection, flailing its tiny clinched fists as his hips and
then his feet emerged in a bloody flow of water. As
his sweating mother accepted his bloodied and unwashed body into her arms, she began to crying convulsively.
“
Woman, you have a son. “ Mary said tenderly as she grasped
the red, mucus covered form against it as it wailed and shivered in the first distress of its short life.
Deborah’s hands remained white and cramped in the same position as when she left go of the birthing rope, her
eyes fluttering several times.
“ A second son! Now things will be right between us! “ She
moaned as fresh pains struck, attempting to expel the now emptied placenta still attached to her blood swollen womb.
She allowed her mother and sister to help her to a fresh bed of straw and fragrant dried grasses, covered by a new
rectangle of women linen, and she gave herself over to the sleep of exhaustion. As she praised the GOD of Israel for allowing
her this one final gift, she said he was to be named Jimnah Joktheel, if he survived.
Mary watched her youngest daughter’s
face as Ahava washed and oiled the child before winding his pudgy form into a single, beetle-like wedge. She smiled back in
weary joy as the thirteen-year-old’s face glowed with excitement and anticipation, as blinding as the flash of a lantern
in pitch-dark.
“ He’s so tiny, Ima. And wrinkled as a newborn lamb! So red? “
“ We’ll
have to keep him between us at all times, Child. He’s been born too soon, but love can do miracles, even if your brother
isn’t here at this moment. “ They looked at the tiny mite with awe,
smaller than Sheba her cat, for all that he was wrapped warmly in layers of swaddling bandages against the cold outside the
womb.
“
I’ll see to it, Ima. You rest. It’s my gift to Deborah to say thank you for all the years she took care
of me. “
Looking down at the puckered, sleeping face Ahava missed the strange look of sadness on her mother’s face. As
Mary washed her hands and surveyed the room to make sure there were no traces left of the physical demands of bringing a child
in before the master of the house was allowed to view his new heir and exhausted wife, she leaned hard against her younger
daughter’s shoulder in exhaustion, her back aching as though a boulder had rolled down the hill and struck her prone.
Ahava kept her voice too low to be heard by the sedated woman who basked in the glory she expected when her husband
finally came upstairs to her rooms. Gone was the anger that this last pregnancy so late in life had begun as rape, the last
time they’d even had sexual relations, gone was the look on his face and the repugnance when she tried to come to him
naked and hungry for his touch, all that remained was what she wanted to remember and wanted to believe, and the still deathly
kernel of truth that he would have to accept her version of the truth and her if only because her bearing a male heir would
help seal the growing position he held in the Community as an outwardly pious and Observant Jew! She would ask for nothing
less than a simply show of courtesy, she hungered too much for his love to ask for more than what she knew him capable.
Despite his earlier inability to focus, Zaavan seemed to be outrageously
energized as he rushed to the doorway of the closed in room just as the midwife and her assistant readied to walk out with
the blooded sheets and he step back in a man’s repugnance for the forces that bring an heir into the world, then he
raced to the edge of the low couch as Mary discretely moved a screen over the birthing stool at the rear of the room. Deborah’s
stomach was swollen but no longer as distended. By a full sized brazier an amble breasted woman held up the infant wrapped
in linens. Only a tiny portion of red cheeks and mouth were visible. As he rushed forward, she lay exhausted on the fresh
clothes that smelled faintly of dried citron blossoms. His broad face, outlined with rings of sweat, altered when he saw Deborah
leaned against the freshly rinsed upright. He looked and spoke like a different person, confusing the shy girl until Ahava
stepped away from all of them, watching her feet so as not to trip on the blooded rags used to clean.
Rueben ben Heznon stopped in the doorway, turning aside with a gagging noise but Zaavan was already in the room, smiling as though he were listening to an angel’s
choir.
“ Another son, Heart-of-my heart! “
It seemed to Ahava that he had practiced it with great care, but she could see her sister’s resolve melt like a lump of leaven in warm water. She reached out to
him and the grossly overweight man pressed a great deal of himself unto the couch and the covered flesh, yet it made her feel
repulsed in a way she didn’t understand. She had to excuse herself with a quiet word to her mother, but they were so
full of their own play-acting that Deborah and Zaavan gave no greater notice to her absence than they did her presence.
Nimrod clicked his way happily
to the middle stairs where she sat herself down, suddenly having no strength in her legs as she looked out at the splendid
winter sky. He pushed her wrist with his nose until she unwound one of her arms and made room for his warmth beside hers as
the chill of the air began to make itself known. She patted him with genuine regret, laying her cheek against the broad bone
of his scalp.
“ I won’t have as much time for you now, but I still love you! “
She assured the small speckled dog with the intensity of her hidden emotions as she reheard her sister’s screams
and felt the tensed muscles under her fingertips while she’d stood by helplessly, waiting for Deborah’s body to
complete its own purging task.
“
She’ll sleep till late tomorrow with everything I gave her. “
The midwife said matter-of-factly as she gathered her instruments and her rags. “ It’ll
cause her to bleed more for the next week than she would ordinarily after birth, but she doesn’t look like one of those
skinny ones who’ll bleed out. Let her eat small amounts, since she’ll want her milk to dry up. Congratulations
on a male child. Good luck. May the Holy One of Israel find a use for this son that would make his father
green with envy, pig that he is. “
She spat contemptuously on the glowing coals and left, having demanded her money at the start, incase the overwrought
woman died, leaving her nothing for hours of toil.
“
But Ima? “ Ahava questioned thoughtfully when they were alone with
her sleeping sister and the newborn, “ The Egyptian widow bore him three illegitimate sons, Ima. Why did GOD make Deborah
wait till now to have sons? “
Mary grimaced with distaste at the mention of such secret and clandestine acts. They were repulsive to her and she
deeply resented that her innocent daughter had to bear
knowledge of such unspeakable acts, and she was too tired to guard her words as she might have on another occasion.
“
We must not question the timing the Holy One chooses in His infinite wisdom, Child. If we seek to question the
Almighty, we might have to bear making the decisions along with Him that go with such knowledge, and I think that
is more than you or I could bear given the fallen state
of mankind. This old world is sinful and getting worse. I’m so glad that Jesus is here now; I fear how much longer it
could have gone on this way without bringing on its own destruction, Child. “ “
But I just think, Ima. “
“
Please child, another day? “
Suddenly the young woman’s tenseness melted away and she cradled her mother near, wordlessly exchanging roles
in loving tenderness.
“ Oh. Beloved! Beloved! We have found a gracious home where you’re welcomed and I know
you’ll be well cared for, and Judas will have his Bar Mitzvah next year! I am so weary! Surely the Good
LORD above will see that I have fulfilled my labors and allowed me graceful access to Him and my beloved Joseph soon!
“
“ But Ima, if we question the timing the Holy One uses in His infinite wisdom, blessed be
His Name, don’t we risk having to take responsibility for our part of the decisions such actions would make?
“
Mary opened her
mouth to protest, then sensed the hidden maturity the child’s body had failed to reveal until this moment.
“ From your
mouth to GOD’S ear, Child. “ She agreed wearily as the strong young arm suddenly became the
support around her wait that her wearies legs failed to provide and she knew the comfort of absolute assurance that she was
loved, just as Joseph had loved her, flaws and all.
Little Jerusha, late
arrived at the house from her young husband’s frightened accounts, stood in the doorway with the clean linens and the
cone of incense she wanted to light before the lumbering and obese man continued on his way up the stairs as if to his own
execution. In nine more weeks Joel would be three years old, old enough to be weaned from her paps and receive his first haircut.
Old enough for her and Noah to start to conceive another child, and frankly, after what she’d witnessed in the difficult
delivery this afternoon and her own memories she was going to balk at having another child, having presented the LORD with
a male as her first born, but seeing the tenderness that passed between the tall girl whose shoulder she only now reached
after Ahava’s shocking late growth spurt this winter, she relented and hugged the freshly woven cloth close to her paps,
as if it were the child of her expectations and she smiled.
Perhaps Eloah would be gracious to give her another girl with Joel, but if not, she was
content now to wait. -
-
End Chapter 37
Footnotes:
