Friday, 20th of Elul 1,2
Second watch of the day
3793
Nazareth
Hearing his wife
Chloe’s vivid accounts of the beautiful harness and bridles of the two camels, fifteen-year old Judas ben Joses couldn’t
resist seeing for himself, attempting to disguise his intense interest under the guise of hospitality. The birth of a son
at the beginning of the year was shaping him to an image that sharply differed from his three older brothers, as even marriage
had been unable to do. He was certain Joseph would not have allowed a man, even another’s servant to be dismissed and
left on his own, and he carried a large flat basket from their preparations for grape harvest, loaded with breads, cheeses
and slices of cold meat from their own stores. He was unprepared for the older man’s sniffing contempt
as he reluctantly chose from the breads and milk products, careful not to offend his unexpected young host. It was no more
than the honor due another man which he acknowledged with grudging respect, but as the disappointed young man turned to walk
away, with his tray still half filled with the rejected food, the Handler made a sudden decision within himself, knowing how
he would wish to be treated if their roles had been reversed.
“ There
are poor among you who would be afraid to receive such a gracious reward from me, as you have offered to me, young master.
“ He offered in explanation. Rewarded by a slow, grateful smile.
Judas blushed slightly, unaccustomed to being spoken to as an adult when so many people remembered him as Joseph the
carpenter’s youngest tongue-tied little boy.
“ Please return this, please, for me, to the grand lady who rode in on my beasts this
morning? She has earned the enmity of that one, and I can not allow her to be harmed, even if her own foolish
neglect of a mere animal. My thanks again, young master. For your kindness, as well as your food. “
Judas hefted the weight of the leather pouch tossed unto the edge of the woven tray, almost tipping it out of his hands.
“ Are you sure you can trust me? This is a very great amount of money,
sir! “ Judas protested before he gave thought to his words.
The Handler swung his leg over the smaller female and urged her to her feet in his own language. He dipped and swayed
as the youth watched him tower over his head on the long limbed creature. Then he called to the Great One
to rise, more as a request than a command, and they stood waiting for the massive camel to rise. This close Judas could see
the long thick lashes protecting the beast’s liquid colored eyes and he could have sword the shaggy dun was seriously
considering whether to obey or not when it leaned forward its head and began to emit some shattering, pain filled cries, unfolding
its legs to stand in the opposite order with which it had settled away from the day’s heat. Only then did
the Handler smile in relief and look down at the shocked man as he urged the faithful she-camel forward, returning to the
great caravan road which would lead them back to the eastern shore.
“
You wear the knotted fringe and skull cap of a pious and learned Jew. Is there any thing I should know about you that
I might not trust you? “
There was obvious affection
in his voice although they had only just met.
“ I’m the youngest of my father’s sons. “
Judas admitted, head downcast, talking to the strangely shaped rounded hooves of the female beast who still voiced
her complaints at being driven from the shade so unreasonably.
“
So am I, Young master. “ The Handler said with
a smile, and urged his duo forward down the road that the young man with the tray wished he was free to follow! Judas watched
in new excitement and questioning inwardly until the strange small man and his lumbering beasts until the rear of the exotically
costumed camel was merely a dun smudge where the caravan road sloped slightly at the edge of the busy village center. Then
remembering he’d heard it whispered among the other boys in Dod Av’ri ’s class that it was wishing bad luck
on someone to watch them completely out of sight, he turned away at the last possible second, feeling his weight shift off
balance from the unexpected weight of the leather pouch still perched on the edge of the woven tray. He’d forgotten
it was there.
As he stepped back into the faint breeze moving through the lower branches of the summer still tree, there was no question
in his mind that the money had to be returned to Shelomith at the soonest possible moment, but its very manner of delivery
to him placed him in an untenable position, guaranteed to endure the proud woman’s righteous indignation! Nor did he
have a sound excuse as to why the cunning man had chosen him to beard the lion in his den! Except that he would have
too, if he had to face his younger sister’s formidable mother-in-law! As he planned out his next
action before having to return to his brothers in the shop, he nibbled at a slice of meat his unexpected guest had declined
Despite the pungent odor of fresh camel dung from the other side of the stream he lingered beside the deeply eroded
stream, examining the pebbles at the bend of the stream where it narrowed. Searching his mind for some graceful saying that
would allow him to take some of the sting out of the rejected payment, and wondering if he should first seek a replacement
ride? Since he had no idea how long the formidable woman planned to stay in Nazareth it seemed wiser to merely return her
money to her and then make the offer to go barter for her with the other males, and hope that he could strike as good a deal
as she did. Subconsciously he stroked the tzitzit knotted at the four corners of his tallit
as he moved out into the heat, briefly taken back by its intensity. If His creation in the near, bright sky reflected the
strength and the demands of its Creator, perhaps he should be a little more fearful?
As
Judas walked back across the recently grazed property line toward the back of their house, he found himself strangely introspective
and moody. Though being clandestine in anything was alien to his nature, he found himself ready to leap across the narrow
gulf created between the slope of the hill and the garden wall and then come up through the narrow wedge of grass and orchard
to feel out the sounds of conflicts or worse, the silences that had recently begun to permeate the once happy household rather
than risk having to walk into it blind by using the door in the front gate. The entire affair with his eldest half-brother
Jesus had been beyond anything the lessons Dod Av’ri taught them at the boy’s yeshiva in town! And since his brother’s
death even that time was marred by his frown of disapproval the moment he walked inside, even if he’d been laughing
with the other village boys until that moment. The old teacher seemed to be personally offended by how
two of his students had turned out. One had died nailed to a Roman cross crying out that He was the nation’s Savior,
and the other boy from the same family who’d started out as such a promising hope to be sent to sit at the feet of one
of the learned men in Jerusalem, to redeem him as a mere country teacher, married his cousin Chakol’s only daughter
and been dismissed by her as mere chattel! His students were the only redemption of his teaching prowess and this last, least
son of Joseph the carpenter was to gentle to interrupt another boy in the heated desire for debate necessary for a good student,
and Judas was wise beyond his years, even before he outgrew the noisy, crowded room.
A
frown settled on the old bearded teacher’s face the moment Judas stepped into the noisy, pushing crowd of village boys
and it had remained there, as if his stomach had suddenly soured. And when Judas did attempt to defend his brother Jesus’
claims he was coldly called forward to present some tangible ‘proof’ of the supposed resurrection, but he had
none that he could handle in his hands! Even the angels who had counseled them had looked like normal men with an unearthly
glow; he had not the tiniest feather to show for the power they’d all felt! He hated being held accountable for the
fantastic claims of his eldest sibling. He had simply stopped attending and no one seemed to notice. Although
Dod Av’ri made it a point to invite his older students back to impress the young, unshaven youth who loved to challenge
him as his ability to instill fear in them lessened with age. As if he were the only one who understood the powerful thoughts
of El Gebor, the Mighty GOD. His cheeks burned in angry resentment at being held
accountable for his older brother’s actions, even knowing that his own Samuel would go to that same crowded, smelly
room of boy’s voices and bodies and probably be held in contempt by the old man over the actions of people who had lived
and died before he was even born! It seemed so unfair. But what else could he do? He wasn’t as brave or as adventurous
as Simon, who’d left Nazareth and made a home for himself in a foreign city among other Jews! As he dropped
to the summer dried grass behind the house and courtyard he noticed how long it was, that he’d have to drive the nanny
and her kids back her to grave tonight, after he tied up the remaining grape clusters he’d left to ripen on the vine.
He tried to picture Chloe’s face if he told her that he was taking her away from her mother and father, even her own
country and moving her to a foreign city? He chuckled at the presumed look of shock and terror he’d see on her bland,
pretty face. She’d cling to him, now and then. Elisheba was different. She’d boldly walk in and kick him out of
bed and not be afraid to lie back down and sleep until she was ready to get back up, It was more her own force of personality
than her upbringing as a the daughter of a zealot leader and the lack of her own home and mother that kept her from being
as docile and companionable as his own dear little wife. It made Judas appreciate the quiet little girl more than he had since
her father approached him about taking her to wife.
Ahava pulled Little Simon
closer to her, rocking him in nervous rhythm although he slept as she watched the dismay and anger darken the seated woman’s
face as Shelomith recognized the clink of metal on metal as the younger woman waved the bag nervously, trying to shoo away
the inquisitive dog. Once she had the offending item in her grasp, a second look of anger struck the patrician woman’s
thin face and she spilled the gold coins into her lap, counting them cautiously. Finding it was light by two coins, she blamed
the girls by her attitude, spoiling the rest of the afternoon. It grew so thickly hostile
once Rebecka walked out of the room that Ahava impulsively excused herself and went to the back of the courtyard, trying to
angle her loom so that she didn’t have to sit with her back exposed to the direct sun. Since the men remained clustered
inside the carpenter shop, even though it must have been stifling, she simply hung a cloth behind her back and continued weaving,
focusing all of her attention on the challenging pattern, and wondering if she should have excused herself earlier while Chloe
laid down? She doubted there was this much hostility at Deborah’s house with Eve and her children! As the day lengthened
she wished Isaac would come home, and that they had a place to call their own, although when he first suggested it in Jerusalem,
it had seemed impossible, especially since so many members of the Way sought him out for his wisdom and his help. She even
scolded herself for her sense of selfishness, but it didn’t stop the growing emptiness building up inside her!
Although she feared for the good-natured teasing of her two sisters-in-law as she shyly suggested she had to leave
baby Simon in their care long enough for her to walk to the mikvah, Ahava found blood rushing to her cheeks
in anticipation of meeting with Isaac tonight once they were alone. Rebecka seemed happy enough with the attention James felt
free to attend on her now that they had two children, including the required son, but they were obviously in fevered rush
to produce as large a family as he came from, and Chloe was still a child for all that she had Judas produced a male heir
so soon after their physical union. She had no desire to pry into their private relationships but she held the secret of her
sharing with Isaac like the last portion of sumptuous meal to a full man who had once been hungry and now ate only for pleasure
in the taste. In those last long months they couldn’t be intimate because of the discomfort
of the growing child, he often held her and talked far into the night. Strangers, united in the Way, came and went in the
odd, long hours of the night. Those newly freed and released from the bondage of sin or physical ailments by the Man the world
dismissed as dead and myth only three years after His return to His Father in the heavenlies. They were too full of excitement
and joy to think to keep their voices down, or wives grieving the loss of husbands or sons because they stood up to the quiet
undercurrent of resistance against the growing belief among the common men. Once or twice it had been a Greek or Roman who’d
been a soldier like him, and Isaac would leave her to sleep alone or with only Nimrod to curl up next to her extended belly
as she tried vainly to fond some position comfortable enough for deep and restful sleep. It wouldn’t come until she
felt his chilled body and clothing take its place beside her, sometimes in the light of dawn and she’d sigh and squeeze
her eyes shut tighter and be assured of at least an hour or two of sleep, as Deborah prided herself on choosing servants and
slaves who were contentious and content to live peaceably in a world of only women.
As
she watched the tiny baby sleeping in the warm cradle of arms as knowledge-able as her own, she felt a small pang. Standing
in the doorway, she glanced over her shoulder, feeling as if she were surrendering the lifetime of care and concern for the
nine week old infant to her busy and efficient sister-in-law because Rebecka had always been a maternal figure for her from
the time James married her when Ahava was still only a girl, an untried maiden who had no idea of the powerful connection
that could be formed between a man and a woman who commit their thoughts as well as their bodies to a satisfying union. Nimrod
looked up expectantly from his place at Chloe’s feet, ready to rise in an instant and follow her with the slightest
encouragement although he had appointed himself the mewing cub’s guardian, but Ahava feared people’s ignorance
at the sight of his differing eye colors. Stones and boredom were too handy, here as much as in the city, and she feared to
lose her faithful, little companion. Yet as she pushed back the layer of cloth that this morning’s damp
chill encouraged, she felt a heady freedom as she walked with her arms unencumbered by anything but the wind against the soft
fine hair on her forearms and the light load of memories and retrospection that coming back to her father’s house had
arise unbidden. A sudden flurry of flight to her left startled her but the small flock of wild birds simply circled the flat
top roofs and landed a few feet away from their original perch while the disappointed cat stood high enough for its head and
ears to show. It was a dark orange color with vivid green eyes and for a moment her heart leaped into her throat with a sudden
ache and sense of loss as she thought about Sheba, whom she’d left sleeping in Martha’s living room. There was
a good chance this feral animal was the granddaughter or great granddaughter of her own beloved pet, and the sense of missing
stability and home shook her to the core of her being. It was almost as though there was a sad thought waiting poised to strike
her every time she tried to relax and be happy! As darkly fanciful as that was! She was the least and the last of her father’s
house, an experienced but obscure carpenter from Nazareth. What was there about her that would stir the enmity of the enemy
of mankind? She asked herself in superstitious awe.
Onycha bat Phurah
looked up in annoyance at the intrusion as the tall young girl walked into the public building unannounced. They knew the
monthly cycles of the fertile women in the village better than their own husbands, but this tall, too beautiful woman had
been gone since her first tentative emersions. They knew without her telling them that she had to be ‘purified’
before she and her traitorous husband could can come together tonight, and the bitter old woman made her disapproval clear
in every glance and silence as the woman undressed modestly and raised her arms to submit herself to their scornful scrutiny.
It seemed all too delicious that they had been talking about her cousin Jael and this girl’s middle brother Joses, Onycha
thought to herself with fresh venom, hating the entire family with a shocking escalation of her mere dislike for her cousin
Othoniel and Tabboath’s sakes. She sensed an undercurrent of rage that hadn’t been there the moment before as
they wondered idly where Jael had gone after her young husband’s death of grief, realizing he’d only had her body
while even the sons born of her flesh were of the seed of the house of Joseph! Ahava pretended not to hear their
snide remarks as they talked about her with no more sympathy than a butcher might speak to his assistant about things that
would happen later that day over a lamb about to be killed, for whom there would be no tomorrow. She sensed they hoped she’d
go home and make Joses uncomfortable by repeating their cruel whispers, but knowing what they could not, that Jael had gone
from Golgotha to Antioch to live a new life with Simon and Elisheba, she simply allowed their unkind innuendos to slide off
her back. She was pushed rudely forward toward the tiny cylinder bored into the bowels of the bedrock that allowed a fresh
flow of cleansing water deep enough for total submersion. Without warning Onycha screamed and pulled her backwards by the
hair, almost pulling her off her feet. Pointing out the small pimple on Ahava’s behind as she had prepared to step into
the water, the embittered old woman began to scream at the top of her lungs. As Ahava quickly redressed, she was subjected
to the strike of angry fists and hateful words, as if she had known she was ‘impure’ and was trying
to trick good, decent women with her ‘foul impudence’!
-
Pushed outside in the morning’s rising heat, she wrapped her arms around herself in a vain effort to find comfort
and stop the tears from pouring out of her eyes. She felt as dirty and shamed as if she’d been discovered to have a
loathsome covering of leprosy! As she ran, sobbing and frightened, she moved away from contact with other people instinctively,
seeking out the emptiness of the cave Bakky the shepherd boy and his old red dog Sari had shared with her in their childhood.
The cave was dusty and smell of dried animal droppings as they threw herself to the familiar stones, sobbing as if her heart
would break. She didn’t look for Jesus physical return to comfort her, though she would have welcomed it as at no other
time in her life. Instead, she finally yielded to the tangible sense of being held and protected, closing her eyes and trying
to bring up the comforting image of the nights she’d gone to sleep in her father’s lap as Joseph seated little
Judas beside him on the edge of the roof and held her near, pointing out the stars in the cool dark night. But this time she
couldn’t find her way back to that familiar place of safety in her early childhood. Too much had changed for her.
In time bird sounds and the distant bleat of sheep after their shepherd brought her back to the present time as the
shame finally evaporated with the last of her tears, and though her breasts were getting heavy with unrelieved milk she found
it pleasant to lie on her side on the cool, smooth stones, feeling a sense of peace flow back over her as if she were in the
path of the stream just outside in the summer heat. She couldn’t bear for her mind to empty for any length of time,
and as her happy memories of rainy afternoons and warm bread and cheese shared with Bakky and Sari, waiting patiently at his
feet as his small flock laid in the back of the cave content to rest with him, she found herself remembering the day she caught
Simon and Elisheba making love on a bed of wild grasses and wildflowers. She didn’t know that they had married secretly
with only her murdered father’s fellow zealots in attendance, and it’d been a shock for the innocent virgin she
had been then. Worse how Isaac had ridden up on his war stallion Titan, leading a poor doomed man who’d
thought he bought time from Rome by betraying Barabbas and one of his own fellow countrymen. How stern and powerful he had
appeared that day, watching her face from the back of his tall, golden stallion as the poor man was dragged, kicking and screaming,
to be stripped of his outer clothing and whipped, as a message not to lied to the imperial power that was Rome!
The sudden pain of that betrayal struck her heart as it hadn’t since the day it happened! She could
have saved the man the terrible scrounging, although Elisheba’s older friends would have killed him in the night, no
matter what she’d done!
“ Help me, LORD! I perish from this weight! “
She prayed in sudden, silent intensity.
A brightness seemed to explode within her, although the subtle, chill shadows of the cave remained unmoved. Then she
heard Nimrod’s loud, joyful barking, and she quickly wiped the tears from her cheeks, rising happily from her makeshift
bed. She expected to see someone following the speckled dog as he bounced toward her, his tail whipping the air behind him
like a force meant to propel him forward even faster. he skidded to a stop near her legs, panting heavily, his body radiating
the day’s heat from his short fur as much as his own body heat. As she stooped and petted him, feeling the joy and normalcy
flow back into her, she kept her head raised, wondering who would follow? Either someone had come to the
compound to see the brothers or to check on the rate of completion on some farm implement or household item or the dog had
becomes bored and simply leaped to the street from the roof of the building? Either way she knew she had to return
home soon, her breasts were becoming uncomfortably heavy. But a pang of disappointment swept over her as she realized Onycha
and Patina were the only two who attended the mikvah. They wouldn’t allow her to bath and cleanse herself for as long
as they could deny her, and she resented their control over her life! Nimrod barked in excitement than
raced to the edge of the wild berry growth protecting the stream, leaving only his gray and black speckled tail exposed as
he lapped thirstily. As if she were meant to be watching, a portion of the sparkling green water became visible as he slipped
a little on the steep bank, reminding her of the deep pool at the point in its meandering course down toward the mikvah.
Their water source was far more reliable and abundant, flowing into a tall, stone cistern in town, but this small stream fed
the modest needs of the wild animals and the sheep and goats pastured on this hill in turn. And it occurred to her that she
might be able to curl up in a tiny ball and submerge herself sufficiently to meet divine authority right here!
Looking uphill and down, she spied out the portion of the caravan road where it was visible, but she didn’t see
anyone looking in her direction with any particular interest. Her laughter caught the excited dog’s attention and he
leaped up and down at her side as she walked the length of the small stream where human foot could find passage, until she
finally had to rebuke him. He stood on all fours, watching her with interest, his tail busy swishing at flies on either side
of the overripe vine leaned against the thick willow and flax where a tiny path had been worn by predator and pray on their
way to a portion of the stream protected by an outcropping of rock where humans were seldom likely to go. The
air that blew across her naked stomach and breasts was as exciting as Isaac’s touch on their wedding night, and as she
rose to the surface of the unexpectedly deeply pool, she brushed the warmed water from her face and hair, laughing aloud with
a maiden’s joy. Not revenge, but surely as sweet! She dressed quickly, whistling for the speckled dog to follow her,
a slight dampness on the soles of her feet as she walked through the summer dried grace was almost a joy, a claim of the youth
no one had the right to take from her before her time, as she walked home, pure in spirit and refreshed in mind. Home to her
son, to await the return of her husband and the night stars, that they might be joined as one again.
Both Rebecka and Chloe were lying down when she returned. Taking the restive infant from the arms of the sleeping girl,
Ahava walked to the front portion of the house, crooning to the hungry child so he wouldn’t wake Rebecka, whose soft
snore she could hear from behind the heavy cloth. When little Simon lay in her arms, contented from his fierce struggle to
take in as much milk as he could in a single breath, she carried him with her into the rear courtyard so she could keep her
hands busy and her mind free by working at the loom again. Seth came to the house, sun burned and a little breathless to say
that Isaac and his father had returned and wondered if she would be free to prepare a meal to share with them? Although the
men inside the shop pretended to be too busy to stop and chat with the tall ten year old, Seth gave them the message and was
ready to walk back to his house by the time she had her few things gathered. On impulse Ahava left the loom hanging on the
wall, simply ‘hiding’ the spun wool cards behind the ceiling to floor threading of the cross weave. When she came
back to visit, it wouldn’t hurt to have a ready-made excuse for stepping outside of the household her kindly sisters-in-law
were superimposing over her childhood memories of this hose and home. As she and the excited boy walked along
the bath at the base of the wind teased mountain the three streets to her sister’s house Ahava found a great weight
lifted from her shoulders even though the sound of her own laughter in answer to Seth’s startled her a little. Most
of the adult women she knew were serious and intent, as befitted the weight of the responsibilities on their shoulders. Only
in a cluster of other woman did she ever hear the kind of freedom ringing in her own voice as she laughed with the burly,
happy boy. Watching his hold on the infant boy without wanting to be obvious, she laid her arm across his shoulders companionably
and shared another story of her eldest brother and Simon, when they were all much younger. Seth seemed insatiable for the
kind of tender and poignant stories she found herself remembering as they walked across the hot, dusty stones she ran like
a desert gazelle when her feet were as small as his. As she entered the courtyard she still thought of as her
sister Deborah, although Adam and Eve had been living here five years, Isaac straightened from the waist high water jar, tossing
his long hair back like the mane of a lion, catching the brilliant late afternoon sunlight in each droplet as they flew behind
his back. His laughter booming out its own special welcome as his face softened seeing hers, the smile in his voice filling
his eyes and his face as he reached for her. Ahava tried to dance away from his wet, bare chested embrace, but Eve, standing
on a tall stool, had already begun to pour out the bowl of water on her husband’s head and Ahava fell directly under
a portion of the flow. Gasping in shock as the chilled water struck her head cloth, plastering it to her sun burnt cheeks
as strong hands suddenly seized her waist and spun her around the courtyard alarmingly. She was still gasping for breath when
the damp cloth was pulled back and her husband’s lips sought out hers in renewed passion and vigor. She might even have
protested in polite disclaimers if she had time to catch her breath but as she slid down against his torso and chest, she
simply flung her arms around his neck and kissed him back with the passion he arose in her; allowing the revenants of her
childhood to trickle down around her ankles and sandals and fell to the damp earth below her feet.
When
her senses slowly returned to her, with the gentle resistance of his mouth as he reluctantly pulled away, a silent promise
in his eyes as he lowered her to the hard packed dirt and earth, she heard the happy barking of the speckled dog and the soft
cries of hunger from her infant son. For an instant the sun burned brighter and the entire world seemed to tingle and move
with the holy Presence of the Creator and she knew no amount of years or troubles would ever steal away the vivid
memory of this moment, sealed apart in time! She looked down blushing, trying to find her modesty or her head scarf. The material
was damp with mud and the blood was still pounding in her ears as Eve, the eldest woman of the house, sent the men to their
tasks while she was Ahava prepared to bring the evening meal to the shade cast on the upper portion of the roof by the ancient
Olive tree behind the house. Because Zaavan ben Jehoiarib was already a rich man and a widower when her sister
Deborah married him at thirteen, his house was that of a rich man, made to include small rooms for the servants to live in
and an outsized stable and series of storerooms carved out of the side of the hill, it always seemed overlarge to her as a
child, even with Deborah’s three girls living there, but that night she was grateful that Adam and Eve had graciously
cleaned and decorated one of the storerooms for their personal use. As she pulled the light woolen shawl over her shoulders,
she loosened her unbound hair and let it fall over the utilitarian cloth, smiling up at the stars as if they were old friends.
“ A penny for your thoughts, Child. “ Isaac
teased comfortably from the heavily cushioned sleeping mat. He laid one of his arms behind his head for a rest against the
warmed stone, trying to catch his breath. It seemed much more of a physical effort than it had been when he was a vain and
younger man, but his smile deepened as he watched the slender figure silhouetted by the moon’s brilliance. He had pleased
her thoroughly before he took his own pleasure and the knowledge that she was content left him with a feeling quite unlike
any other. He and Julia-Ephrata had been hesitant young lovers, ever conscious of decorum except in those few seconds preceding
the shattering climax only youth is capable of indulging. Then he had feared impregnating his delicate high-bred wife, now
he secretly desired to do so, despite Ahava’s protections. He was starting a family so late in life these should have
been his grandsons not his heirs! And he wanted at least three sons before he was forced by old age to leave her. She was
strong and sensible, he had no fear of her trying to raise so many children alone; her mother had been left with seven children
and managed, with her oldest son’s help.
“ He’d better be worthy of you! “ He
said in sudden anger before she had the time to assure him her thoughts weren’t worth as much as he offered to pay for
them. She turned, with a puzzled look and it was all he could do not to share the sudden pain of his tortured thoughts as
the extreme difference in their age was driven home to him like a spike in the heart! As she returned to
him, she filled his thoughts and heart as completely as her young body filled his line of vision. Tears seeped out from under
his eyelids as she saw she understood his remark too clearly, but there wasn’t anything either of them could do to return
those years to him. Making room for her, he found himself relishing the warmth that clung to her
as she laid the chilled clothing to one side. Delicately he ran his hand over the mounded belly and the full breasts that
betrayed the loss of her innocence to him. It was only a matter of time till their son woke and took her away from him completely
but as she offered up her mouth, he shared soft, deep kisses that gave more and more of himself in her until he felt he no
longer existed as a separate entity. He was asleep when he heard the child’s then cries, the necessary delay, then the
return of her warmth as she lay on her side feeding their son, and he slipped back deeper into sleep, wishing this night could
go on forever.
-
With Isaac’s mother staying at the small local inn where so few people traveled off the main caravan route, the
house seemed smaller and more crowded than ever, but she wanted to make a good impression on the strong willed woman by showing
her how much a part her son was of their family. Since Joses remained unmarried, he couldn’t forbid them the use of
the house for a family supper, although he made it clear that he didn’t intend to yield his place as the eldest son
in the house to Isaac simply because he was nearly twice his age, so Ahava was glad for any excuse to leave the tension filled
house and go to her sister’s house at the end of the lane to see if Eve had any extra napkins? The mice had gotten into
their supply while Joses claimed he was attending .more weighty matters’ in his Torah study. She was prepared
for more of Eve’s lightly mocking banter since everything the aristocratic woman from Jerusalem did was a rich source
of gossip for the local woman, but as soon as she slipped into her sister’s house, she could feel the silence and the
tautness of anger that she had hoped to escape. To her surprise the tall happy child didn’t run over and reach for the
baby as soon as she arrived, and Eve kept her back turned, fussing at the young boy at her breast. Only Seth looked up, unhappily
acknowledging her arrival.
“ If this is a bad time, I can come another time. “ Ahava
stammered, and no one spoke to dissuade her from leaving except for the burly man who just entered the doorway, filling it.
He smelled of manly odors and sweat, and his voice boomed in the narrow space, filling it nearly as much as he filled the
doorway.
“ Seth! Uriel! Abba’s home! Eve, Woman? Why are you leaving our guest
standing? “
But Uriel pulled back from him, her dark eyes were so wide and staring they seemed to occupy her entire face,
“ Is it true? Is it true, Abba? “
Her voice was thin and strained and its oddly plaintive wail, silencing even fourteen year old Seth, who greatly occupied
any Selah he inhabited!
“ Is what true, Child? “
He lowered his hips so he could remain smaller in size, his hand reflecting tiny prisms of light in each droplet clinging
to his arm. She stepped back beyond his fingers, remaining just beyond his reach. Shocked and perplexed, the red haired giant
looked to his slender wife, his eyes seeking the source of this bizarre retreat. But seeing her look fixed and staring at
their new visitor, he knew the terrible truth in an instant! The dagger forever poised against his heart struck him cold and
numb with horror!
“ That you murdered my real father so you could take me away from him?
“
“ No! “ Adam bellowed,
like a struck ox as he reared to his fullest height, his face a terrible mask of agony and pain. Seth was knocked to one side
by the reflexive sweep of the massive, corded arm but no one seemed able to move, or to speak, and even the click of Nimrod’s
nails on the hard packed earth seemed like an offensive intrusion on the unholy silence as the standing people fought for
breath and for comprehension.
“ Man, you lie! “ Shelomith hissed
between clinched teeth. She hadn’t thought how it would sound to the grandchild she was prepared to claim as her own
and Isaacs.
“ I took the child at the hands of your own husband, to keep her from being sold
to slavers at her father’s death! Ask him! “
Then shutting out
the woman with a massive struggle, he lowered himself gently again but the girl pulled back from him, white faced with her
struggle to comprehend the shattering truth.
“ And who killed him to make her fair game for the slavers? Have you made yourself the
hero of this despicable drama? “
The red haired
giant fell backwards, sobbing into his hands and rocking. Even Uriel wanted to go and comfort him but her little feet seemed
froze to the very ground where she stood. She let out a scream as her aunt seized her up in her arms, the stench of milk and
fear.
“ I’ll take her to James’ house while you talk! Nimrod!
“
The frightened girl was going to protest but the angry shout of the dog’s name silenced her like a slap in the
face!
Isaac raced to her side, staring at his mother with eyes as hard as flint.
“ The child has the right to know! “
The trembling woman croaked in a low whisper. “ I’m her blood!
“ Literally tearing the wiggling child from the younger woman’s arms.
Ahava had to release her to keep a firm hold on her infant.
“
So am I, Ima. But I never shattered the home with loving parents she has, when I know I can’t give her another.
“
“ Isaac! You have no right to speak to me so coldly!
“
The seven year old broke free of the woman’s chill fingers and ran to the only mother she’d ever known,
burying her face in Eve’s garment, rejecting every pleading tone in her distraught grandmother’s voice. Only two
things were clear to her, that the man she’d loved all her life had murdered her real father, and her “Uncle”
Isaac was really her flesh and blood kin as he had told her. She didn’t know what else was truth, for suddenly everything
else was a lie! She obeyed his command to go with her aunt, because he was a male authority and she feared
the anger blazing from his face, the blood so vivid above his bread that the spider web of scars and war injuries stood out
in white, frightening her all the more. But even when the two women in the wood dust smelling house fussed over and attempted
to cheer her, as if she were a child to be distracted by a pretty piece of string and the promise of a kitten, she found no
peace until they allowed her to lay down beside the slender but maternal figure of her aunt Beloved, where she willed herself
to the oblivion of sleep to block out the questions and angers raging inside her as she remembered the truants of the other
children who refused to play with her and Seth because they were ‘different’.
-
It was still dark the next morning when Eve’s shattering scream followed the sound of a heavy tree branch giving
way against the house. Isaac leaped up, dagger in hand, clothed only in his sleeping tunic as he pushed her back into the
shattered warmth of their sleeping accommodations. Thoughts of Xavier’s blood striking her hotly across the thigh forced
a piercing scream from her thought as her husband raced outside into the pitch black that rests heavily between false dawn
and the birth of day. Seth raced to her side as they stared down from the roof, unable to comprehend the depth of the tragedy
in front of them. It had taken an hour of coaxing when they returned but Uriel had finally gone to Adam’s arms, holding
back from the shattering tears and apologies the red haired giant gasped, like a man too drunk with new wine to guard his
tongue. The boy had tried to make things right, by keeping her near to him and saying that it was better for the terrible
secret to be aired, so they could go on with their lives, the way her mother and father would have wished it.
The thought that her own father could murder her mother had struck speech from the young girl’s lips, although
it “explained” why Abba avenged the murder and then took her far, far away so she wouldn’t have to live
with the shame, but what did that make her but the daughter of a murderer no matter which man she claimed as she own?
Apparently, he had understood her look too well and hung himself rather than face her shame and confusion again by
day, and as she clung to her adopted brother, she willed the whole terrible thing to be a nightmare and go away! Soon Abba
would spring up with a laugh, carry her around the trees on his shoulder that terrible old woman would go away and they could
go on in the life she was so happy to share!
Eve tried to forbid her to come in the room with her father’s naked body as they washed it and began to ladle
the sweet smelling spices between the empty, flaccid places where the strips of cloth would be wound around the burial cloth.
Eve had to borrow the two copper mites from Isaac to place over his eyes, and the only solace she could find for her terrible
pain in this moment, was tending to him as if the stiffening body still contained life, simply far removed from them, like
a fever. Most of the work they did was bartered or exchanged. Seth remained in the other room with Isaac and the grown sons
of Joseph the carpenter who were the nearest thing he had to family since he’d been kidnapped and sold in his extreme youth. It seemed as though the only life he knew above ground was the happy years he’d
spent here in Nazareth after Ahava bought him and Eve at the underground slave mart in Jerusalem and sent them out here to
the country to live in peace in her older sister’s house! Now that was gone, and he had two women to care for. He was
determined not to allow the thin old woman to have the child she’d murdered to possess!
“
I will track you down and cut your heart out if you try to take my sister from me! “
Shelomith turned to face her grown son, desperation forcing past her normal reserve. Ahava felt so sorry for her, understanding
what the men seemed unable to understand. she knew how she’d feel toward any of Simon’s children if Isaac were
murdered in front of her eyes and she had no one else left in the world! But when she tried to open her mouth, only silence
would emerge, as full of smells and grief’s as the damp rock tomb that enclosed them. The faint odor of rot was already
rising up above the shocking beautiful odors of myrrh and Myrtle tree sap.
“
Seth! Help me roll the stone in place! “
It was the first time since dawn he’d spoken. Joses, seeing the young man’s agony and denial etched across
his face at the thought of this final separation, put his shoulder to the edge of the rounded stone and pushed against it
till the veins stood out in his face. Together, they were able to seal off the dank odors of the long unused cave. Isaac had
asked their permission to use the series of small excavations of their family crypt in which to bury the man they couldn’t
mourn publicly. James was still in Jerusalem, and as the second son remaining Joses saw no
reason to add to the family’s pain any further. Whatever wrong the red haired giant might have done in his life, he
deserved better than he received at his own hand, and he silently whispered a prayer to the high and righteous One to be as
lenient as His demands could allow!
When he finished, he watched the stocky warrior comfort the grieving woman and the tall, thin boy with exotic features.
A part of him wondered if he should offer the fourteen year old a place to work in the shop to make sure the two women were
fed, but as quickly as the thought arose, he quenched it. He’d done more than he should be helping them to carry the
dreadful weight her and allow him to lie with the bones of better men. He turned and walked away, thinking of what he might
still accomplish, although he would be ‘unclean’ until sundown. It would be embarrassing to have to go to his
former in-laws for proof of fulfillment of the Divine command, but he felt as if he’d left some great weight hidden
behind that massive stone, although he feared to probe too deeply into its source. Isaac felt compassion rise up, seeing how
much his mother had aged in only twenty-four hours, but he was too numb with grief and shock to be able to think about what
actions he should take next. Returning to the house, they did housework and slept, waiting for something without being sure
what it was they were waiting for. The next night at Shabbat dinner, Seth sat at the head of the table in
his father’s chair, although he was only half Isaac’s age, and Simon seemed the only one to even notice.
Ahava and Eve served them, allowing the distraught child to sit down soon after the quiet meal began. Though she hadn’t
resisted the weekly blessing she had stubbornly refused to light the tiny braded candle when her adopted mother formally commenced
the quiet meal with the lighting and blessing of the Sabbath candles. Pushing the food around on the plate
in front of her or sitting with her hands in her lap, head bowed, as she wept silently.
Saturday, Shelomith remained at the house, vainly attempting to make eye contact with the stilled child, picking up
her hand and stroking the unresisting flesh with tender regard, but the Uriel herself was hidden behind a high wall that only
Nimrod seemed able to cross. Ahava looked up, deeply startled from her thoughts by her brother Simon’s
approach. Even before he spoke, she knew he was leaving them. However great the tragedy thrust upon them, he was worried about
his wife and son, and she could hardly blame him. Firmly clamping down the words that wanted to beg him to stay, to not tear
the fabric of their lives any further, because she knew in her heart of hearts that wasn’t fair to him!
“ It seems strange to sit at the grave of such a young person.
“
Simon glanced over in surprise. Because he died of an infectious disease Jeremiah had been buried in the ground near
the family caves. In time his bones would be dug up and placed in an ossuary inside the family vault with the others.
“ His mouth killed him in more ways than one. I heard him mocking Jesus as he hung in
shame, don’t ask me to grieve for this one two! “
Ahava
exhaled, allowing the clean, summer warmed air to flow inside her and fill the empty places of guilt and denial. Life went
on for the living, whether they wanted it too or not.
“ I
think she’ll go to our house in Antioch and get Jael’s help, and all the money she can steal from us. I have to
count on that. Your loving husband did too a good a job wiping out her father’s group and I understand the last of the
group she trained have already died horribly at the hands of the Romans, simply because they
were Jews. I don’t want that for my son. Why won’t you even look at me when I’m trying to speak to you,
‘Hava? “
Ahava had to force herself to look away from the thin, high clouds. It was going to be another scorcher.
“ They died because they were wicked and foul men who would have killed you, and us,
and never given a second thought to it. The cry of political freedom is as much a lie as what you’re asking from me.
“
The stunned twenty-three year old rocked back on his heels, looking at her gap-jawed. He knew his youngest sister had
a sharp mind and a quick wit, but she’d never spoken to him with anything resembling this degree of angst and insight.
He didn’t even realize she was capable of it! His sense of loss at Elisheba’s cunning, malicious humor and insight
eased a little. But if she knew he was complimenting her, she gave no sight of it as tears filled her eyes silently and she
looked away again.
She stood to her feet, refusing his offer of help. He dropped his hand to his side, unsure of how to close the gap
lengthening between them.
“ Othoniel has offered to take the Woman to Uzziah’s house in Jerusalem.
I suppose you and...your husband....will be accompanying them. I... “
“
You’re making assumptions again, Simon. I would have thought you outgrew your impulsive nature after it lead
you to live with Elisheba and the zealots! “
“
She was my wife! “
“ How nice of you to let the rest of the family know! Masrekah never
refunded Ima’s money to her for your engagements! “
“
I don’t have to justify myself to you! “ He replied hotly,
feeling his anger rise unexpectedly. “ And I’ll repay mother
the next time I see her! I’m a successful business man now! I’m not a child any longer, Beloved! “
“ Your wife’s tactics earned you money from Gentiles. Abba always warned us!
Don’t take another person’s accomplishments on your shoulders as if you’d done them, Simon!
“
“ Abba is dead! I’m not! “
Ahava didn’t realize how hard she struck her brother on the cheek until he straightened from the force of the
blow, his cheek already wearing three stripes of crimson. It was as if his words had just buried Joseph and her girlhood.
She wanted to apologize but she couldn’t. When he turned on his heel and stalked off she suddenly heard the rest of
what he had said, and as she followed the meadow road back down to the caravan trail she found herself wondering what Uzziah
had to do with a rich widow with Capernaum? She didn’t even realize they had met, or were somehow related, that she
could turn to him at such an unexpected moment of crisis. Had Rueben ben Heznon’s vast estates and blood money been
held in trust for his only child? It seemed too bizarre a turn in a life already marred by tragedy.
She
meant to take Isaac aside privately and ask if he was intending to follow his mother back to Jerusalem as her brother’s
words intended, but when she reached the house Othoniel ben Jeezer was already there, with Dod Av’ri and eight angry
old men, demanding that Eve and her children be thrust out of the city to ‘cleanse’ it.
“
She can come with me to Jerusalem, Othoniel. “
Rebecka
said in a firm, clear voice, pushing aside the two men who had been prepared to make her walk around them, in acknowledgment
of her lesser status as a mere female. “ Until then, leave us in peace! Now! Go. “
She didn’t raise her voice, nor respond to the dark, glowering looks in her direction since she’d just
given up her home in that instant. Her father was the last man to leave, his thin, gray beard trembling with the violence
of his thoughts. He’d disowned her and vowed never to speak to her again when she disobeyed him and returned to live
with her much younger husband and the thoughts he was having within himself ached to spill out and scald away that look of
contempt and assurance he saw on her face. Her mother would hear about this as soon as he got home!
Eve
shook her had no, pushing away the well intended support.
“
I’m going back to my own people. The snows and ices in the air around us could never be as cold as the treatment
I’ve received at their hands! “
“
You don’t have any idea of the dangers involved! The obstacles! Do you still even speak your own language when
you get there? Who’ll support you? Eve, this is madness! “
“
I will Dod Isaac. I’m going with Ima and my sisters! “
“ You aren’t even from that part of the world, Seth! With your dark coloring,
you’ll never fit in, who will you marry? “
Isaac
protested, when he could think to formulate thoughts or words again. As he followed the crying woman back indoors, he knew
at a glance that she’d made up her mind, no matter how foolish the quest. He knew what strong willed women were capable
of, having been raised by one.
“ I believe in the God of your father’s. He’ll watch over us. I’ll
just ask Jesus to help us, Dod. “
Isaac felt fresh tears fill his eyes at the boy’s quiet statement of faith.
“ I can hardly
argue with that, Seth. Has anyone seen my mother? “
“
She left before Othoniel and the other elders arrived. “
“
I’m going to meet her at the road South in the morning. “ Rebecka said tautly, not even
pretending to hide the fact that she overheard their private discussion. “ If
she chooses to stay with the likes of Deborah and Uzziah of Cana that’s her business!
“
“ Deborah? My sister Deborah? What does she have to do with this?
“
“ She told me before we left that she plans to marry Uzziah this winter and remain in
Jerusalem, no matter ‘how foolishly’ we want to ‘squander our lives on the foolish fantasy that Jesus lives’.
“
If she hadn’t been so brittle with anger, she would have ached for the look that came over her younger sister-in-law’s
face!
“ I’m so torn, Beloved! “
Though
she had to struggle against the call of sleep on her frayed nerves, Ahava sat upright, cradling the two-and-half month old
infant in her arms to keep him asleep for as long as possible.
“
I want to be in Jerusalem for the High holidays, I want to be at Simon’s side as he seeks his son, and I want
to be with Simon Cephas’ family to see them home safely, as I promised. Why can’t I be three people?
“
“ Why can’t you trust Hosea to take care of his wife and mother-in-law?
“ She asked between yawns, in as gentle a voice as possible.
“
He’s so young! “ Isaac answered in horror, turning to look
at her in shock and dismay.
“ He helped to bury Cousin John’s head and body when evil men would have burned
them or desecrated it. I don’t think he’s been young for several years, adonai. “
“ Were you always this old Beloved, or did loving me do this to you?
“
“ You make it sound like loving you has been some kind of trial. It hasn’t, my husband!
I’d do it again in a heartbeat! Even knowing what I know now about the depth of your prodigious snore you make when
you’re physically exhausted. “
He smiled as she hoped he would,
but it couldn’t hide the pain and concern as well as he thought. Then he leaned back against the damp earth and clay
mix of the wall, angrily ignoring the risk of stinging insects.
“
I don’t want Simon to go alone, but I’m not sure that I have the right to go at all.
“
Ahava tucked her chin into her neck, using the movement to hide her sudden doubts as she crooned to the sleeping boy.
She wasn’t prepared for his strange change in topics.
“ It’s
just a few days to Jonathan’s fifth birthday. “
Her
eyes betrayed her surprise.
“ Joses’ child with Abigail, I know... “
Her voice faltered, as she searched for the possible reason the heavily scarred warrior would bring up so strange a
topic in the middle of the night.
“
He isn’t Joses’ oldest child, is he? “
“
No. “ She admitted in a sight that seemed as if she took on
responsibility for her middle brother’s impulsive actions. Only Jeremiah seemed to believe Jael’s three children
were his own, his father and uncle had stopped pretending even a mild belief with his death at nineteen, even though it cast
a long shadow against their eldest brother’s only child. But to speak it now, even in private conversation between husband
and wife, seemed a trifle disrespectful and it still gave her no clue to his current thoughts. Was he thinking of fetching
Jael and her sons and bring them to live under his roof?
“ You
don’t think Simon will take a care for Jael or her children, even if finds Caleb? “
“ Are you angry at me for thinking such unkind things about your brother?
“
“ No. “ She admitted candidly,
wide-awake. Moving the sleeping infant to the center of her lap, she levered herself up to the wall, leaning back against
the welcomed coolness of the plastered mud bricks. “ I hadn’t thought about it that way
till now, but I think you’re right, about Simon. I think he has so many fires burning in him right now that he can’t
see clearly for all the smoke. “
Isaac laughed gently in relief
and placed his arm across her shoulder, pleased to feel her head rest back against him in complete confidence.
“ But there are so many Believers already in Antioch I don’t think she’s
going to be left desolate at any time! But if you feel better, why no ask someone going in that direction to make the offer
to her, that if she feels isolated, she’d be welcomed to come make her home with us. I suspect she’ll send a curt
note saying her life has more substance and steadfastness that ours does right now, and suggest that we be
the ones to come and stay with her! “
Isaac
laughed out loud, till tears came to his eyes. She was almost asleep, leaning on him when Little Simon grunted and pushed
hard, filling the closed air with the stench of bowel. By the time she had him cleaned, Isaac was awake, walking back into
the room with two steaming cups of freshly steeped tea.
“ My
mother always said a woman should sip this when the baby has loose water like that. It smells so terrible, so I thought it
only fair if I have to drink it too! “
Moving the child
so he could hold unto her tender nipple but still allow her to sip from the steaming metal cup, she wrinkled her nose in displeasure
at the first two sips. Then the melted honey touched her tongue and she had to put it aside. He meant well, trying to disguise
the bitter taste with natural sugar, but she knew that honey was difficult for a baby’s body to use and if she rebuked
him, however gently, it would leave her feeling reduced. So she simply smiled a promise to pick it up again when Simon required
less attention. Giving the honey time to settle down to the bottom of the cup.
“
I love our life, Isaac. I just wish Xavier could have stayed to share it. “
When he didn’t answer she risked looking directly at him. He noticed and inclined his head toward her, smiling
sadly. Clearly he had been thinking of his adopted father too.
“
Mother met with your brother several times, didn’t she, Dear heart? “
“ Yes, several times, why? “
“ I know how strong willed and stubborn she can be, and how she blames us for Abba’s
murder, but when I think of her not sharing eternity with us, it tears at my heart like a wound I have to salve to ease!
“
“ Prayer? Hope? He is the author of mercy, adonai.
Even if she never forgives me, as long as she makes it to heaven, that’s all I care! “
“ I didn’t mean to make you cry, Child! “
He said tenderly, pulling her and the sleeping infant into his arms. As he laid his head on the top of her hair she
sensed he was a very long ways away from her, but she made no effort to claim him and call him back. Instead she watched the
last few months begin to take shape before her questing eyes.
“ Machba`nel?
“
The stocky, dark figure beside her jerked in surprise.
“ You
must be worried, to call me by that name! “
He pulled back
to where he could see the features of her face in the dim shadows.
“
Nothing happens without GOD’S permission. The Master warned that anyone who loved mother or father, or husband
or wife, or son or daughter. “ He added in a lower voice, pulling back the
swaddling layers to watch the tiny, pink face. “ More than Him, wasn’t worthy of Him. I guess
that applied to me too. What if Ima learns to love Him so much she has no time for me? Is that why I’m trying to fill
my life with people who will be dependent on me? “
“
No! “
He looked up directly in her eyes. This time the smile seemed to begin deep within him, like his fear and questioning,
but he said nothing out loud of his continued doubt.
“
What are you going to do, adonai? “
She asked in a
low voice. He startled, thinking her already asleep. He regretfully acknowledged the depth of her concern with a kiss that
threatened to become passionate, if only as an escape, but finally summoning the courage to ask him point blank, the shy seventeen
year old wasn’t willing to be put off without an adequate attempt to answer. With a resigned sigh, he leaned back on
his own side of the sleeping mat, finding that the speckled dog had taken full advantage of his prolonged lean away. At least
one spot of the blankets were warm on his chilled flesh as he resigned himself to wakefulness.
“
That’s a good question, Beloved. I wish I had a good answer.
“
I promised Cephas I’d see his family home safely, keeping a promise to a Brother in the Lord is the first priority.
Then I feel compelled to warn them about the escalation to violence against the Way. “
He stopped short at her sharp intake of breath, as if for the moment she had been able to forget that first tragedy
in Judea, and he was sorry he reminded her. “ Even if I told Simon, he couldn’t answer their
questions, and I doubt he would even stay long enough to tell them anything....with no disrespect to you or your family intended,
Little One. “
“ None taken. “ She agreed in a tone of
voice that shocked him into remembering when the LORD had used those same words to him. Was it a lifetime ago? When he still
believed he could be a soldier for King Jesus, and he was faintly contemptuous of the ‘weakness’ he saw in the
mild manner man who would be king over a stiff necked and rebellious people.
“
We could die, couldn’t we, Isaac? Even Little Simon? “
“
In the end we’ll die, Dear Heart. “ He tried to answer with
false assurance, but she leaned upright on her elbow and gave him ‘that’ look and he chuckled in appreciation.
“ Yes, Dear heart. Jesus warned us that a man’s enemies would be those of his own household.
Father rising up to put his son to death, and mother-in-laws rising up against daughters-in-law. But we knew that on the day
he left us. You haven’t changed your mind, have you? “
The thought of not having her at his side was shocking, to the core of his being.
“ Not in the slightest, things are just...different...now that we have Simon...
“
Misunderstanding her application of the name, the stocky warrior looked down at his scarred fingers, where they intertwined
with hers, so long and pale and thin in comparison.
“ He’s a man now, beloved!
He snapped, feeling her body and fingers stiffen. But having started to unload the long withholden resentment, he couldn’t
stop his own anger from spilling out. “ He has to make his own decision about Jesus, just like
the rest of us did. Even as you had to do, Child! “
He braced himself for her angry onslaught, but her
words were serious and thoughtful rather than angry as she absorbed the feelings she hadn’t even suspected he harbored
toward her handsome and rebellious brother.
“ Perhaps it’s a little more difficult when you’ve spent your whole life
with a person. Always seeing them, breathing them, accepting them as anyone else, then suddenly they’re standing on
a mountaintop with Moses and Elijah talking with him, and he’s shinning brighter than a thousand suns?
“
“ Cephas told you about that did he? “
“ On the last journey to Jerusalem. “
“ You should be honored. He doesn’t usually like to talk about
deeply personal things like that with the women in his life. And you’re his baby daughter’s best friend.
“ He tried to inject a little levity into the conversation, knowing that she would protest
that six year old Petrochela was really the baby of the family. Then he could steer the conversation away by making ‘paternal’
noises about Hulah ‘always being’ his little girl, but she kept a strange silence that sobered him.
“ I know I could raise Simon if I had too, but if I were the first one to die, you’ll
need another woman in your life to raise our son. “
“
Don’t ever talk like that again! “ He rebuked
her hotly; his fingers clinched on hers hurt as she pulled back in surprise. He apologized and let go, raising the throbbing
digits to his lips in tear stained apology.
“ There’ll be no other woman in my life, Beloved. Not after loving you!
“
She felt the fresh sting of tears scald her eyelids when she thought herself cried out. Freeing her hand from his,
she reached it and supported herself by the back of his neck, cleansing the unintentional wound with a deep, prolonged kiss.
End Chapter 87
